By: Savin Mattozzi ~Jewish Perfectionist~
Joseph Herrmann a 34-yearold seventh-grader at Mountain View middle school has finally correctly drawn his first swastika.
“I have been practicing this complicated symbol for the past eight years, but I finally got it yesterday!” Herrmann said, smiling ear to ear, showing all of his rotten teeth. “People used to make fun of my swastikas, saying that they look like cacti or hands with three fingers, but I showed them all wrong today.”
Herrmann has received academic discipline in the past for allegedly renaming the class fish Adolf and writing “white power” in crayon on the top of his test papers.
“I hate it when people call me racist. I’m not a racist, I just despise the idea of other people that come from backgrounds that are not Aryan and/or Christian,” Herrman said. “Just because I want to kill and/or maim people from different ethnic backgrounds, especially Jews, Muslims and Blacks, it doesn’t make me a Nazi, just an alt-right. One of my neighbors is Black, and I haven’t killed him yet, I’ve just made sure to wear my Klan’s outfit whenever he’s around. Now, does that sound like something a racist would do? I hardly think so.
“I would like to thank the Lord above that he gave us this current administration. I never thought that my views on White power would be shared with people so high up in our government. I finally feel as though my fringe views can be affirmed and accepted in the highest position in our country. It is almost as if God himself heard my prayers when me and my fellow White men set that cross on fire in a field during election day… I might not be able to spell fascism, but I sure as hell can support it!”
Herrmann, who is set to graduate the seventh grade this year, reflects on the future of the country.
“I think this country is finally going in the right direction. We, the White people, are finally taking it back from all of those liberal snowflakes who wanted to help poor people, aka losers, and advocate for human rights, whatever that means. All I know is that Breitbart, the only trustworthy news source, says that Führer Trump will make sure my needs and desires come before anybody else’s, even if they were never really threatened in the first place.”