“Boston strog,” sad Poppa, support health care workers, extra mayo, defective parrot, tuna meltdown

New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski told Howard Stern that Tom Brady’s penis, while still very nice, was not as nice as his own. This comes after Brady complimented his penis in a previous episode of Stern’s podcast, of which Gronkowski said, “He called my hot dog ‘amazingly nice,’ so it kind of surprised me” (April 21).

A Boston nurse ran a marathon throughout the city but spelled “Boston Strog” instead of “Boston Strong” with her path (April 22).

An Atlanta bulldog named Big Poppa has taken social media by storm after its owner posted a picture of the pup looking pessimistic (April 22). 

A U.K. woman gave birth in a supermarket parking lot after a nearby EMT believed that the child’s father was just cheering him on and supporting local healthcare workers (April 22). 

A Virginia senator is facing public scolding after posting a video of himself making a “tuna melt” with excessive amounts of mayonnaise, undrained tuna and processed cheese. He blamed his Canadian heritage for the mayonnaise glops (April 23). 

A man in Spain was sent home by police after claiming he was taking his fish on a walk “to relieve itself” (April 24).

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio shut down the city’s hotline to report those not social distancing after the hotline was flooded the text messages with photos of penises, Hitler and other graphic images (April 24). 

A Canadian Superior Court decided that a man who mortgaged his house in a bet over “Rock, Paper, Scissors” will not have to pay back the $517,000 he owes (April 24).

A British Columbia man was fined after selling a “defective” parrot for $2,100 (April 25). 

A Vallejo Planning Commission member announced his resignation after drinking beer and throwing a cat during a Zoom call meeting (April 26). 

The Pentagon released three videos of UFOs which were orginally posted by former Blink-182 singer Tom DeLonge (April 27).