Parking tickets, the fattest bear, #Saints, Armory-ed robbery, sex IDs, Mail Center marijuana, “TheTM”

Sept. 3, 13:21 p.m. — A student with 23 unpaid parking tickets parked in the R2 lot was referred to the code of conduct process.

Nov. 4, 4:43 p.m. — Xavier Police received a package from the Mail Center that contained a small amount of marijuana which was mailed to a generic address on campus from out-of-state. 

Dec. 30, 6:20 a.m. — Xavier Police investigated a report of a break-in at the Armory. Investigation revealed three ceiling projectors were forcibly removed from the classrooms and two ceremonial non-functional drill rifles were taken from the building.

Jan. 18, 1:46 a.m. — A student and their guest reported they were robbed at gunpoint by a drug dealer who they were attempting to purchase marijuana from. The student and their guest were picked up, on their own request, by the dealer on campus. They were then driven through the city of Cincinnati where they were eventually robbed. 

Jan. 21, 5:57 a.m. — A student reported that an acquaintance had taken their car without their consent from the R2 parking lot. 

A man in Sharonville, Ohio, called police demanding that officers return the marijuana they “stole” from him. The man claimed that it was legal to have up to 100 grams of the substance. The dispatcher explained to him that the drug was, in fact, illegal throughout the state of Ohio (Sept. 6).

Ohio State University’s request to trademark “the” when used on official school merchandise was denied. The U.S. Trademark and Patent Office said the trademark appeared to be an “ornamental feature” that would not function like a trademark normally would (Sept. 11).

A brown bear dubbed the “Queen of Corpulence” was declared the winner of a Fat Bear competition. The competition asked voters to choose their favorite among 12 bears (Oct. 9).

Pope Francis accidentally tweeted support for the New Orleans Saints when he meant to celebrate newly canonized saints, using the hashtag #Saints and the team’s logo. The Saints later thanked the pope after their win (Oct. 13).

A California middle school accidentally issued IDs with a sex hotline number on them. The IDs were supposed to include the National Suicide Hotline, but two digits were mixed up (Oct. 30).

Sticky notes helped a Georgia Tech student land an internship with a Fortune 500 company. The student spelled “HIRE ME” on his window, and the tech company across the street responded with “EMAIL?” in sticky notes (Nov. 1).

A London eatery is marketing itself as “the world’s first conveyer belt cheese restaurant.” Customers can choose from 25 different cheeses passed to them on a 130-foot conveyer belt (Sept. 10).