Opinion by Joseph Nichols
Imagine a world in which a pair of sentient, radicalized turkeys travel through time to the first Thanksgiving in an attempt to organize an armed revolution against the settlers, getting turkeys off the menu forever. Fortunately, one needn’t look further than 2013’s Free Birds for such a tale of heroic exploits and alternative history.
The movie, which features a stellar quartet of voice actors in Owen Wilson, Amy Poehler, Keith David and Woody Harrelson, genuinely might be one of the strangest movies I have ever seen. However, since Thanksgiving is between Halloween and Christmas (both of which have lengthy lists of movies to watch), there somehow aren’t many films to watch for Thanksgiving. While college football dominates with the annual Ohio State-Michigan game (and an insane Iron Bowl, did anyone else watch that?), I don’t feel a particular need to watch Akron State duke it out with Delaware High. Rudy and the Charlie Brown TV special are classics, but aside from that pair, there’s a lack of Thanksgiving movies.
Enter Free Birds, a movie described as “the greatest turkey movie of all time” by its promotional material. Free Birds is an abnormal film that is a fascinating juxtaposition of pure idiocy and potential brilliance. Judging this movie for what it is — an absurdist comedy aimed to fill the void of Thanksgiving movies — produces something quite undervalued in today’s holiday traditions. Like many of you, I watched this movie as a kid when it was initially released but have since almost entirely disregarded it. This past weekend, I stumbled across a DVD of Free Birds (lucky me) and decided to give it a watch.
Wow. This is the type of movie that could only have come from late-stage capitalism. I mean come on. Owen Wilson voices a turkey, Reggie, who receives the presidential pardon and lives a life of luxury: unlimited pizza and Spanish soap operas. He is soon kidnapped by a renegade turkey named Jake (Woody Harrelson), who is on a seemingly God-given mission issued to him by the Great Turkey to travel back in time and stop the first Thanksgiving feast.
The pair befriends the local turkeys and skirmish with the historical Myles Standish, who seeks to find the turkey headquarters and cook them for the feast. In between man-versus-turkey battles, Reggie catches feelings for one of the turkeys (Amy Poehler’s character) and must decide whether to stay in 1621 or return to the present day.
Although this might come as a bit of a shock, the Owen Wilson turkey movie is by no means a masterpiece. Painting the turkeys as a native tribe fighting against the settlers was a questionable move to say the least, even at the time. Although it is likely due to the lack of Thanksgiving movies available during the holidays, I can’t help but feel that there is something here. Free Birds is not some grand revelation of modern cinematography or a breakthrough in film production. At its core, Free Birds is somewhat passable overall in terms of quality, with padded dialogue aimed to extend its runtime and just hit an hour and 20. The movie is nonsensical and illogical, yet it deserves to be watched for the unfortunate reality that there just aren’t many half-decent Thanksgiving movies. Sure, I understand that Thanksgiving does not have the seasonal hype of Halloween and Christmas, but the holiday itself warrants some more accompanying films. The beauty of Free Birds is its side bits and quips that help cushion this movie into decency and possible respectability. At one point, a character is ostracized from the flock and dubbed the “anti-corn,” a turkey elder has a half-turkey/half-chicken offspring and overall the writers did not lay an egg with the turkey puns.
Free Birds is not going to change your life drastically or rival the golden age of cinematography. It’s a somewhat nonsensical movie with an absurd premise that brings some chuckles over a brief runtime. It features a stellar voice cast and serves as a nice palette cleanser between football games and the handful of Thanksgiving TV specials.
Next year, when you are with the family during the holidays and everyone is collapsed on the couch from the turkey, consider putting on the greatest turkey movie of all time and hold onto your nuggets.