Priority Registration Triggers Pandemonium Across Xavier 

SATIRE By Ryan Kramer, Newswire Intern  Student demand for Xavier psychological and counseling services has increased to an unpreceded extent during the past week. In addition to discovering the cause of…

Hegseth is Out Let’s Put Anyone Else In 

SATIRE By Rieley McDonnell, Staff Writer  Democrats swept away the Republicans in the midterm elections and the cabinet is getting cleaned out too.   Secretary of War – or Defense as…

“Cat In The Hat” Is Mediocre At Best 

By Grady Andersen, Staff Writer  The 2026 release of “Cat in the Hat” prides itself on whimsy fun but whiffs completely on that very mark.  The latest animated release of…