by an Anonymous Newswire Fashion Consultant
For the first time in almost a decade, Halloween will fall after Hump Day this year. As folks prepare for a (at a minimum) three night bender, we’ll set out to feature some of the underappreciated costume ideas that have been brought to our attention.
10: A Dean’s List student
Since we all know you will obviously never make the Dean’s List, this one shows your ability to dream big and live your fantasy. Really, this is the spirit of Halloween if you ask me.
Blake Lively (pictured above) plays flower shop owner Lily Bloom in “It Ends With Us.”
9: Lily Bloom from “It Ends With Us“
Grab your boyfriend and your florals! This ‘stume will definitely come across as light-hearted and fun. Coincidentally, “light-hearted and fun” are words Blake Lively probably used to promote “It Ends With Us”.
8: Mr. Peanut
As Pitbull once said, you will find more people “looking for a nut” on All Hallow’s Eve than perhaps any other duskfall each year. This one will surely bring people out of their shell.
7: Married Kentuckians (COUPLE’S COSTUME)
People may want you and your costume partner to split up and take a picture with them. But fret not- even if Married Kentuckians split up, they’re still family.
6: A can of Coke
While this is certainly not an original idea, there is a new element of endurance this year. Your evasion skills will be put to the test when a confused frat bro gets confused and tries to snort you. Wrong kinda Coke, pal.
The Japanese House tuning their guitar.
5: The Japanese House
Really, anyone can pull off the outfit. The work of this costume comes in requesting a two-page list of incredibly obscure British foods from the Office of Student Involvement.
4: A Raisin
This one shows an extreme sense of perseverance. Every one can appreciate a grape that’s been through something.
3: Swim Shirt JD Vance
This costume is best enjoyed by those staying in to pass out candy. You’ll spend most of your time on the couch. Quintessential JD Vance.
2: Jimmy Carter
To achieve full effect, black out early in the night so that your friends are responsible for transporting you from place to place. When we reached out to Jimmy Carter for comment on this idea, he loudly said, “HUH?”
There is also strong potential to collab with Mr. Peanut here.
Honorable Mention: Chappell Roan
Known for her incredibly eccentric outfit and makeup combos, many feminomenons will dress as Lollapalooza headliner Chappell Roan this year. The magic of this costume is that it gives the wearer a free pass to tell people to “shut the f— up” with no apparent consequence.
1: Ozempic Blob
What are we doing here, folks? Did the Blob get put on the basketball team’s strength and conditioning regimen? Did the Blob shed its hair? How the hell are they making that blue ice cream? Someone please check in on Blob and its mental health.
