by Joseph Hamman, Staff Writer
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it seems like the perfect occasion to think of the perfect pickup line to try to catch the heart of that pookie you always have your eyes on. This campus is never void of people holding hands as they take a stroll down the pathways, but for those who haven’t reached that point, where’s the best place to start?
Well, I guess it depends on what kind of person you’re searching for. There are hundreds of different pickup lines to choose from, but it comes down to the imagination and the execution. Some prefer things simple, like something along the lines of “Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re the one for me and I’m the one for you!”
Or you can mess it up and say “Roses are red, violets are purple” and then remember you can’t find a rhyme. Let’s try another, shall we? “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” Well, taking this literally, seems to fall flat, because what kind of relationship is one where people don’t know each other’s names? Plus, that’s probably one that’s been used too much and its uniqueness is starting to fade.
“Excuse me, can you help me pick up my jaw? I seemed to have dropped it just looking at you.”
This is the perfect pickup line if you’re a skeleton. It’s a very humerus joke that may rattle some bones! Perhaps all of the Albers Hall skeletons ask each other that when all of the students are gone on Valentine’s Day. Truth be told, would anyone even have the guts to use this pickup line? This pickup line will get you no body!
“Have we met before? You look a lot like the love of my life.”
This is the Valentine’s Day pickup line you always say when you realize that you’re dating someone and realize you’re talking to their identical twin. This could end a plethora of different ways. Also, for all you know, your crush might have binge read The Looks Book and decided to change their appearance and you just didn’t notice.
“Whoever said Disneyland was the happiest place on earth has never been in your presence.”
The important thing to remember with this pickup line is that it always seems to be one of the most accurate pickup lines ever spoken. As Apples to Apples says about Disneyland and Disney World, “Welcome to the happiest place on Earth! Now go stand in line!” Hopefully your love’s presence doesn’t require waiting in line for several hours to watch a bunch of animatronics move. Plus, your love’s presence is probably less expensive. In fact, this pickup line can probably be said free of charge.
“Will you be my Valentine?”
Do I really need to say more? It’s the most cookie-cutter one. You probably used this one in elementary school as you give the class clown that Bakugan card you bought for $2 at Walmart. It’s just a shame you can only use this one on one day throughout the whole year.
“Wanna go out with me, sweetie? We’ll be the most dynamic duo at Xavier! Even more than D’Artagnan and the Blue Blob!”
Are you sure? That’s a bold pickup line to say when you remember how there’s CLEARLY something going on between those two beloved mascots. They’re inseparable. Milk and cookies. Peanut butter and jelly. Bread and butter. Rice and beans. If you’re going to challenge this statement, show some proof and wow the whole campus!
“Hey, baby! Are you an angel, because I can see your halo from here!”
First of all, what kind of Valentine’s Day isn’t complete without angel pickup lines. They don’t actually say what types of angels they are referring to in the pickup line, so from as far as they know, they can be talking about fallen angels or even saying their love looks like Be Not Afraid. If you want to date Be Not Afraid, all eyes are on you! Also, think about it. If you were using this pickup line, could also mean that you are willing to date someone while also running the risk of blinding yourself by the light. If it is, then you’ll be revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.
Now, what might be the most unique pickup line of them all? Anything you want. Type or say whatever you want and maybe it can be the greatest pickup line ever. It’s like how it is in Tomodachi Life. Just type it in and you will say it in front of your crush and they get to respond from there. If you’re doing it in a classroom, they could just say “Sure!” Or “I’m sorry….” Or maybe someone else will pop out from under the teacher’s desk or out of the closet and try to confess their Valentine’s love to the same person you are.
Be creative. Say anything! The possibilities are endless! Say “Lemonade!” Say “Eat pie, say eat pie!”. It’s your choice.