Week in Review

An English arcade owner has replaced the stuffed toys in his claw machine with toilet paper, hand sanitizer and soap (March 10).

A New Mexico woman is under arrest after stealing a car and then telling the officer that she is Beyoncé Knowles. The woman is being charged with unlawful taking of a vehicle, concealing her identity and resisting arrest (March 11).

South Florida police have issued a “Wanted” poster for an elusive cow that has been loose since January. The poster reads, “Description: Female cow. Brown with a white head. Faster than it looks. Talented fence jumper. Enjoys pools. Pending charges: Mooving Violations, uddering false checks, and fleeing and eluding police” (March 12).

A Japanese grocery store has put a curse on its toilet paper section in order to prevent panic buying and theft (March 12).

After the NCAA tournament was cancelled, the Florida Senate voted and passed a resolution declaring the Florida State Seminoles the 2020 NCAA champions (March 14).

The president of Belarus has suggested that citizens ride tractors as a way to overcome the coronavirus. He said in an interview, “There, the tractor will heal everyone. The fields heal everyone” (March 16).

Inmates of prisons in Ireland are now being provided with alcohol-free hand sanitizer in an attempt to keep inmates healthy while avoiding the production of moonshine (March 16).

A restaurant in the suburbs of Chicago will now be giving out a free roll of toilet paper with every delivery or takeout order (March 18).