Two of these are real. Guess which ones.
Thousands of people have partaken in the Twitter hashtag #IDidThat, confessing their sins out of fear of the apocalypse. The confessions range from acts of vandalism and marital infidelity to admission of guilt to JFK’s assassination (March 25).
As Netflix crumbles under the national WiFi strain, online booksellers are seeing an enormous uptick in customers and a huge decrease in ratings. “I just read a book… that’s disgusting,” one commenter said (March 25).
New tax breaks for large corporations will be given in the form of toilet paper rolls and hand sanitizer, intended to be used as an incentive for lower-level workers to continue through the pandemic (March 26).
French military police are fielding calls from confused citizens under lockdown, answering questions like, “A stranger touched my horse, should I quarantine?” and “Can my husband still see his mistress?” (March 27).
The village in Italy known for singing together on their balconies has now taken to reenacting movie scenes. Chosen excerpts include the movie theater scene from Contagion, hospital scenes from 12 Monkeys and infection scenes from Cabin Fever (March 28).
A medical fetish website has donated their entire stock of scrubs to a hospital in England. The company, known as MedFetUK, called the exchange “scandalous” (March 30).
As Brazilian gangs impose curfews in Latin America, the parent-run organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving has begun a new libertarian campaign to end curfews and retain personal freedoms during the pandemic. The group will be legally switching their name to Mothers Against Social Distancing this week (March 31).
Canadian police have decided to no longer enforce criminal arrests due to social distancing concerns and will now operate on an apology-based honor system (March 31).
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