The Lighter Side: 1/21/21

A hacker figured out the code for an app-based sex toy, prompting researchers to worry about the adult chastity belt’s safety. The hacker extorted the toy’s owner for approximately $270 in Bitcoin, telling the owner, “Your c*ck is mine now.” The toy’s owner said he was not using the item at the time of the raunchy ransom (Jan. 9). 

The Honolulu Police Department spent over $150,000 in federal CARES funding, designed for COVID-19 relief, on a robotic dog named Spot. The hardware hound will be used to take the temperature of people experiencing homelessness in the city’s downtown area (Jan. 10). 

Owners of an Indian restaurant in the U.K. used helium balloons in an attempt to send their restaurant’s samosa into space. Unfortunately, within a day, the samosa shuttle crash-landed in France (Jan. 12).

A board member of Mississippi’s Pearl River County Crime Stoppers was accused of embezzling over $50,000 from the anti-crime program. Local investigators claim that she used the money for “personal rodeo expenses” (Jan. 12). 

Rapper Post Malone donated 10,000 pairs of his self-designed Duet Max Clog II Crocs to frontline workers around the country through nonprofit Musicians On Call (Jan. 14). 

A “vagina candle” sold by Gwenyth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand, Goop, exploded in a U.K. woman’s home, frightening but not harming any members of the house (Jan. 18).

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A UK woman claims this vagina-scented candle exploded in her home.

A U.K. birdwatcher accidentally stumbled upon real buried treasure, finding 1,300 gold coins that some experts have dated back to the first century C.E. (Jan. 18). 

Washington state became the first state to allow “human composting” this year. The process, known as natural organic reduction, has been used on eight deceased individuals so far (Jan. 18). 

A Northern Kentucky couple celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary by receiving the first dose of their coronavirus vaccinations. Husband Gene Record noted that he was particularly excited to soon be able to square dance with his friends again (Jan. 19). 

The Royal Canadian Mountain Police concluded a massive drug investigation after a grocery store mistakenly received a shipment of bananas containing thousands of kilos of cocaine. Police noted that it was “enough contraband for every resident in the City of Kelowna to receive nearly six doses each” (Jan. 19).

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Canadian police found cocaine in banana shipments for grocery stores.