Lighter Side: 9/16/2021

Wiley woolies, quarantining quarantines

  • Experts confirmed that inhaling onion fumes does not kill COVID-19, after Facebook was flooded with posts stating: “To cleanse your lungs, you need to inhale onion fumes that kill the virus” (Sept. 9).
  • Aiming high: Emma Raducanu, whose U.S. Open victory earned her $2.5 million, stated that her goal for the tournament was to win enough money to replace her lost AirPods (Sept. 12).
  • Scientists have potty-trained cows in an attempt to reduce ammonia emissions (Sept. 13).
  • Ronaldo(n’t): The Manchester United soccer team is afraid to eat dessert in front of superstar and new teammate Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo is famously judgemental of unhealthy eaters (Sept. 13).
Photo courtesy of Flickr.com
Ronaldo, a health nut, has struck fear into the hearts of his teammates.
  • A North Carolina school with 20% of its students in COVID-19 quarantine voted to end COVID-19 quarantines (Sept. 13).
  • Bringing wooly back (yeah): A company received a $15 million grant to resurrect wooly mammoths from extinction (Sept. 13).
Xavier Newswire's avatar

Xavier Newswire

Related Posts

The $2 Trillion Gamble: Anthropic Unveils Historic Growth and Losses Ahead of IPO 

By Jacob Halbesma, Local and National Section Editor  Anthropic is preparing for a historic public debut on the Nasdaq under the ticker symbol “ANT,” targeting a record-breaking $1.5 trillion to…

Jet Crash Causes Dismay in Florida, Nine Lives Lost  

By Abby Knox, Managing Editor  Nine lives were lost on Sunday following a jet crash in Florida.   After a Learjet60 descended at high rates of speed, it nose-dived into a road,…