Swifty millipedes, Israeli nuclear facilities Texas state troopers have been instructed to “slim down” or face consequences. The report states that troopers with waist sizes over 40 inches will need to track and report weight loss efforts (April 18). Israel’s top-secret, state-of-the-art nuclear facility is under assault from porcupines. The small creatures set up near the facility and have been digging under the building, causing concerns (April 19). A new species of millipedes has been named after Taylor Swift. The species has been dubbed Nannaria swiftae, or in common vernacular, Swift Twisted-Claw Millipede (April 20). A Maryland man has been … Continue reading The Lighter Side

Nasty nuns, rick-roll, shroom shenanigans A man rick-rolled all of Dallas on April Fools’ Day by using drones to create a humongous QR code behind him. According to witnesses, the QR did indeed take patrons to a video of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” (April 1).  Ignoring Stephen Hawking’s warnings, scientists plan to broadcast Earth’s location to aliens. Who knows, aliens could be on their way as you read this week’s edition of the Lighter Side… (April 2).  A woman posing as a fake nun has taken to shouting “Christ, come into me,” while dancing to Christian music … Continue reading The Lighter Side

Career changes, canceled exams, ‘ole Boris Afghanistan’s most recent finance minister is now an Uber driver. Sources wonder how exactly he would explain the gaps in his resume. He could explain that he was laid off when his company was aggressively acquired by a competitor… (the Taliban) (March 19). Sri Lanka canceled exams for millions of students due to a country-wide paper shortage. Sources expressed condolences for the country’s economic problems while also high-fiving affected students (March 20). British Prime Minister Boris Johnson compared pro-Brexit voters to Ukrainian fighters in the Russia-Ukraine conflict, juxtaposing the “oppression” of the European Union … Continue reading The Lighter Side