Xavier Newswire

The Lighter Side

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Xavier Newswire

Sexy M&Ms, Walmart buys, cryptomayors

  • A formerly-bullied man confirmed that he has found solace in his marriage to a manga-inspired AI named Hatsune Miku. “I stayed in my room for 24 hours a day and watched videos of Miku the whole time,” he said (Jan. 19).
  • New York City Mayor Eric Adams is being paid in cryptocurrency. “New York is the center of the world, and we want it to be the center of cryptocurrency and other financial innovations,” Adams said (Jan. 21).
  • “In this economy?”: A Texas woman attempted to buy another woman’s child at a Walmart checkout. She offered the woman $500,000 for the child, which evidently was not enough for the hard-bargaining mother (Jan. 22).
  • Fox News host Tucker Carlson criticized the “less sexy” redesign of the female-presenting green and brown M&Ms. In this instance, Carlson is correct (Jan. 22).
Tucker Carlson critiqued the far less sexy design of the green M&Ms.

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Back Page editor, Kayla Ross, passes the baton to former Sports Page editor, Ben Dickison. Read her farewell at the link in bio. Read more about Christian Cullen’s thoughts on “More Xavier at the link in bio. The Sugar and Spice Reading Road location has finally reopened after new additions and renovations. Read more about the restaurant’s history and reopening at the link in our bio! Swipe to see the music Newswire staff is reading this week. This is the mass x-odus: many members of the Xavier Men’s Basketball roster look elsewhere for the 2024-2025 season. Read more now about the outgoing and incoming roster at the link in our bio. CAMPUS — Junior chemistry major Lance Kuo-Esser represented Xavier in the Big East Startup Challenge and took home the grand prize of $1,500 for his innovative STD testing solution, TestU, on Feb. 29. Read about this story and more at the link in our bio. Cincinnati City Council has approved expanding the predevelopment stages of renovating and preserving the King Records building through $205,000 of funding. Hear from retired Xavier professor Christine Anderson about the impact of the preservation project’s initial stages and its significance to the local community, and read more about the City Council’s decision. For the first time in over 200 years, parts of Ohio will experience a period of darkness as a total solar eclipse crosses the state, and Cincinnati projects to be in a viewing zone where the moon covers 99.7% of the sun, experiencing a partial eclipse. Read about the rare event, how state officials are preparing for massive crowds and traffic delays, and where you can eclipse your viewing expectations for it at the link in bio! Skyline and Gold Star Chili have announced that the companies are switching to serve Coca-Cola products in their restaurants from the Pepsi brand, “dew” to begin in April. The move means the restaurants will now offer beverages including Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, Cherry Coca-Cola, Sprite, Mello Yello, Barq’s Root Beer, and Fanta. Read about the mixed reactions from Cincinnatians, and hear from several Xavier students about their thoughts on the change. Although Ohioans have already casted ballots in several primary races to choose who will represent them on Election Day, several Xavier students served important positions on campaigns. Hear from junior Ethan Nichols and first-years Carolyn Isaly and Hannah Caruso about their experiences working with some candidates from important races in the primary.

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