By Gavin Steele, Staff Writer

The San Antonio Zoo has announced their Valentine’s Day fundraiser plans, which includes the “cry me a cockroach” fundraiser, where people can “symbolically name a roach, rat or veggie after your ex or not-so-special someone and the San Antonio Zoo will help squash your past, a true heartbreak healer, by feeding your selection to an animal resident.” The zoo also provides the opportunity to buy poop-scented Hippo Love candles for those who “are looking to turn up the heat and attract that special someone” with “the rizz you need” (Jan. 15). 

The Italian province of Bolzano will be mandating all dog owners to submit their pets for DNA testing, in an effort to crack down on dog poop in public areas. The Bolzano veterinary department is creating a DNA database of 40,000 dogs so that police can reference to search for potential culprits. The province’s police will charge owners around $70 for the testing and owners who refuse DNA testing on their dogs will be fined $318 – $1,143 (Jan. 17).