By Christian Cullen, Staff Writer

Earlier this year, I wrote about the male loneliness epidemic. After writing about this, I started wondering why there has been such a rise in loneliness. I came around to the idea of the “third space.” The home is the first space, the workplace is the second and the third space is any social setting where you can find community. Churches, libraries, bars, and social clubs are all examples. I think what has been a central part of the loneliness epidemic is that the internet has largely replaced third spaces for young people.

The internet has completely changed every aspect of our lives. There are various arguments on what that biggest change is, but I think the role of the internet in social life is a main contributor. Now, I don’t think the internet is inherently bad; there are plenty of communities that have only been able to exist via the internet. However, we need in-person social connection to be truly fulfilled. And yet, so much of our lives is solitary to the internet. I’ll give an example. I got dinner with my cousin a few weeks ago, and she mentioned that she was in a book club. I think this was genuinely the first time I had heard from someone that they were in a real, in-person book club.

Book clubs are one of the many different parts of American social life that have been either supplanted by or transferred to the internet. Having a book club over the internet is fine. But when there is a lack in tactile social connections, no matter what someone may do with the internet, they will not be totally fulfilled. 

That leaves the question of what to do. The internet is here to stay. I would hope for a revival of the American communal life, but I am unsure of the likelihood of this. So much of our lives are go go go. There is not exactly an abundance of free time, whether it is our commute, work during the week (and sometimes extends into the home as well), errands and all the other little things that fill our lives. The internet is presented as a viable alternative to the tired soul. How many of you all have, when tired, resorted to scrolling on your phone?

Not only that, but as opportunities for social interaction go online, there are fewer and fewer opportunities for people to engage in real life. It’s just not as common anymore. I can go down the list of examples. Church attendance has declined, bowling leagues have fewer members and even here at Xavier, I hear that club membership and attendance is down post-pandemic. For many today, it seems that the only option would be going out to a bar/club, but that is both unsustainable and likely unhealthy over one’s lifespan. I hope that this generation can bring back some better options for the third space. However, I am not confident. At the very least, I hope you take this article as a way to reflect on what your third space is in life, and if it is one with which you are happy.