By Hannah Kremer, Managing Editor

The nonchalance epidemic has long plagued Gen Z culture. Emotional detachment in romantic relationships has been viewed as an attractive quality, leading some of us to completely avoid double-texting, send short responses and feign disinterest with a simple “lol” at the end to soften the blow. This culture has completely disconnected us, making dating feel like a grand performance of passivity. So, I truly mean it when I say, if you subscribe to this notion, you suck. 

It is against our human nature to be nonchalant. We are constantly seeking out interpersonal relationships with the people around us. In fact, the World Health Organization found in a global report that loneliness and social isolation increase your risk of stroke, heart disease, diabetes and predictably, your mental health. We lead an unhealthy lifestyle when we do not make the effort to meet others, both platonic and romantic. Nonchalance, in turn, prevents us from forming close relationships with others as we pretend not to care about what they say, do, or are passionate about. 

It is unclear when expressing excitement or caring for someone else became “cringe” or taboo which results in doing the bare minimum when we find ourselves liking someone else.

At the end of the day, sending text messages back-to-back or sending paragraphs instead of just a few words should not be off-putting to anyone. The shift towards emotional detachment is only suppressing genuine connection, all because the internet encourages us to aspire to indifference. 

Social media forces us to present ourselves in a way that shows only the best, often false versions of ourselves, as though we are always on vacation, with friends or doing exciting things. By posting photos and writing captions, there is new exposure to scrutiny from the vast web and all the eyes peering down at their phone screens. 

Suddenly, when we engage with someone one-on-one through a dating app or in text messages, the same pressure applies. There is a decision to prioritize our ego over expressing interest, as though the person on the receiving end will immediately judge whatever we choose to send as a part of our all-encompassing character traits. It is a normal facet of life to have anxiety about relationships. Nonchalance, in a way alleviates some of the pressure of being held to a specific standard by another person by limiting how much of ourselves we share. There are reasonable explanations for this kind of behavior. However, the fear of being cringe should never outweigh a natural inclination to get to know someone. 

The missing piece we so rarely consider is this: we are limited to a single lifetime and spend only four years of it in a unique community called college. That is less than half of a decade when you will have the opportunity to constantly be surrounded by people your own age, live with them in dormitories, eat with them in the Caf and see them regularly. Statistically, a university is the place where you are most likely to meet the love of your life or make friends that last a lifetime. Throw nonchalance into the equation to look cool, and you isolate yourself from those opportunities. 

There is limited time to express who we truly are and to make worthwhile connections that improve the quality of our lives. Send a text twice. Share your authentic opinions. When your mother reminds you “if that person doesn’t like you for you, they aren’t the one,” listen to her. At the end of the day, you deserve to express yourself at your most chalant; you will thank yourself for it. It is time to admit that nonchalance has never been attractive.