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A guide to the provost candidates

By: Soondos Mulla-Ossman ~Staff Writer~ The university is currently waiting for the final decision on who Xavier’s next provost will be held March 28 and March 31. The forums were designed to generate student feedback, but ultimately the administration has the final decision. Not everyone was able to attend the forums, however, so some might … Continue reading

Fairfield mother confronts deportation

By: Ellen Siefke ~Managing Editor~ A Fairfield woman faces deportation to Mexico today after the U.S. Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals denied her case for a stay of removal. Maribel Trujillo-Diaz, who has resided illegally in the country since 2002, is a mother of four children ranging in age from 3 to 14. A member … Continue reading

Left- and right-wing protestors clash in Berkeley

By: Savin Mattozzi ~Staff Writer~ Clashes broke out in Berkley, Calif., on Saturday when pro- Trump and anti-Trump protestors crossed a police line and attacked each other. According to authorities, 11 were injured, and seven had to be transported to area hospitals. An additional 21 were arrested, some on weapons charges. In a video posted … Continue reading

Student discovers CLC, rest of campus

By: Luke Byerly ~He definitely wrote this drunk~ Xavier Police got a workout Friday afternoon when the force was called to detain a student who was reportedly ranting and raving all over campus. Officers were forced to chase senior Danielle McNally across campus after she wandered out of Smith Hall for the first time to … Continue reading

Caf makes actual changes

By: Slim Eden ~Commuter with an Unlimited Plan~ The rating system placed at the exit of Hoff Dining Commons has created very real change within both the cafeteria itself and the entire campus. The system, based around students rating their daily dining experience with a series of small circular human faces meant to resemble different … Continue reading

Caf receives bite-sized critic review

By: Kyle Tooley ~Sacramento’s Marlon Brando~ I first stepped foot in the Hoff Dining Commons, commonly referred to as “The Caf,” on Saturday, March 25, 2017. My experience was one that I won’t soon forget. After failing to be seated by the maitre d’, who posed quite an attitude from the beginning, I decided to … Continue reading

Students lose hands in Hailstones

By: Handless Hank ~Corrupt Fireman~ Disaster struck one of Xavier’s oldest classroom buildings again last week, as four more students lost their hands to the incessant water pressure of the men’s bathroom in the basement of Hailstones Hall. Jeremy McMann, Kyle Fingerless, Pete Vardon and David DeLose all reported that the sink had taken at … Continue reading

XU cop doesn’t like writing tickets

By: Lucas Scott ~#3 Shooting Guard~ In 2015 Xavier police Lt. Grouch retired from his position in the Xavier Police Department only to return the next year as a parking attendant. Most students took this as a sign of Grouch’s hatred for illegal parkers. However, the lieutenant clarified that he actually cares about students. “Most … Continue reading

SAC thrills with XavierFest

By: Kyle Tooley ~Not Afraid of SAC~ After bringing in big-name musicians such as Tyler Hilton, Smallpools and Magic! the past three years, the Xavier Student Activities Council (SAC) has outdone itself yet again. The 2017 Xavierfest lineup is headlined by Marc E. Bassy, whose top hits include “You & Me” as well as a … Continue reading

Pizza ATM becomes camera shy

By: Kevin Thomas ~Slowly Dying and OK with that~ After spending a majority of the last six months in the spotlight, the Pizza ATM has become camera shy and will refuse and cower away from any interviews or media coverage. According to a statement from a spokesperson for the ATM, it just needs some time … Continue reading