By: Abrena Rowe ~Copy Editor~
One thing I am tired of hearing is “Everything happens for a reason.” I think that is complete and utter bullshit. It is a philosophy that manages to combine maximum arrogance with maximum ignorance.
It portrays whatever higher power above as heartless, cold and ruthless. This way of thinking allows excuses for bad things to happen to good people and gives no room for real thought or explanation as to why things actually are happening.
Two months ago I drove my car into a highway wall going about 45 miles per hour, hit my head against the driver’s window, knocked myself unconscious for a few seconds, and I’m still dealing with the repercussions of my concussion and muscular injuries.
Every time I tell the story, see a doctor or therapist or someone asks how I am, at some point in our conversation they say “Well, everything happens for a reason. You’ll figure out why this happened to you.”
I went to Target before my 11 a.m. class to get earbuds. My old pair shorted out, and I decided to buy a couple other useless things that could’ve waited for another time as well. I was rushed, pressed for time, and I am already an anxious driver. The trip could have waited. It was raining, and I knew my car doesn’t handle well in those conditions, which is why I crashed in the first place.
My car wouldn’t turn right on the ramp so I was still moving straight while the road curved. So at that point it was: Car meet wall, head meet window and me meet hysteria.
Various aspects of this situation could have been avoided. For starters, I could have not gone to Target while it was raining because my car doesn’t operate well in the rain, and I am not the best driver due to anxiety behind the wheel. Then I could’ve gotten off at the I-75 exit when leaving Target instead of turning onto the Norwood Lateral. Then I could’ve stayed on Montgomery Road and en route to Xavier instead of getting back on the highway to get off at Dana Avenue.
Now I am dealing with exacerbated medical issues on top of preexisting head trauma. Consequently, I have fallen behind in classes from last semester and the current term and facing the decision of potentially having to drop out of my current program and pursue a different course of action to become an athletic trainer.
Nothing I had planned for myself, nothing I had expected, has happened and no, I do not think it “happened for a reason.” I don’t see how this is a “blessing in disguise.” My life has been slightly derailed by an avoidable situation.
I understand the purpose behind saying “everything happens for a reason.” We need that sliver of hope as human beings to think that there is a power greater than us making things happen, especially when situations in our life don’t go quite as planned. As children, we had the security of a superior being in control at all times taking care of us and keeping us safe. As adults we miss that, which could be a reason we feed into the “everything happens for a reason” philosophy.
I had four chances to prevent this accident. Four. So one would think maybe it was meant to be. I was meant to hit the exit ramp from the Norwood Lateral to I-71 on December 1. But why?
What reasons are there that whatever controls us would make me knock myself unconscious in a car, putting my car out of commission for good and throwing my entire life off course?
That’s a question I might never be able to answer or get the answer to for the rest of my life.
Maybe I went through this simply to be able to write this piece and connect with those who have a similar philosophy.
If this is supposed to be a wake up call for me to slow down, I’m out of bed and moving at a much slower pace. I get the message. If this was supposed to allow me to open up and be more vulnerable to others, here I am. I understand.
This has been beyond a learning experience for me, but I still refuse to believe there was a reason for it happening. Sometimes crappy things happen in life and there’s no way around it.