By: Abrena Rowe ~Opinions and Editorials Editor~
New year, new me. That’s a vow most people make when a new year rolls around. Whether it is the start of a new calendar year or the start of the school year, people set out to achieve new goals to better resemble the ideal version they have of themselves.
If you’re a typical college student, each year you’ve made new friends and have grown closer with old ones. You’ve made new memories, good and bad. You’ve learned things about yourself, the world we live in and the people in your life.
For those who knew me last year, you know some details to the troubles I’ve been through recently. For those of you who don’t, let’s just say sophomore year wasn’t the happiest time. I did make new friends and grew closer with old ones, as well as letting some relationships die out. I made choices in the past year that led to fantastic memories, as well as some I’d rather forget. I learned so many things about myself and those in my life. I learned who I want to stay in my life and who I wouldn’t mind seeing exit.
Sophomore year I struggled to be a happy shiny person on the outside no matter how dark and twisted I felt inside. The catalyst for things turning south was a car crash right before fall exams, in which I literally hit a wall. I probably should have taken spring semester off. I should have given myself time to let the physical, mental and emotional trauma heal.
But I didn’t. I pushed through the semester academically and socially, leaving a trail of impulsive, destructive and questionable decisions in my wake. Even if I developed some of the greatest relationships of my life, ended the year with my highest GPA at Xavier and received offers for two great positions to work the following year within the Xavier community, I couldn’t seem to shake my pitfalls.
It sounds like I’m building up to a tale of remorse and regret, but quite the contrary. I honestly wouldn’t change a single happening of last year. Every single thing I have experienced since the beginning of sophomore year taught me something new about myself. I hope to continue to learn more about myself as I proceed with the healing process from my traumas. I was pushed to my breaking point and now I get to rebuild myself into the person I want to be using healthy coping mechanisms I learned to make life seem less hopeless.
College is meant for finding yourself, for growth and change, so you can develop into the type of person you want to be after graduation.