With March Madness out of the way, it’s time to transition to the better bracket-filling month of the two, April Sadness. There are many strong contenders along with some old faces ready to strut their stuff in Hypothalamus Stadium. Here are some bold predictions for the most tears-inducing phenomenon of the season. Click here to view the entire bracket.

Round 1: Topping off our bracket is Losing in Mario Kart and seeing your ex but not being able to hit them with a car. One of last year’s strongest contenders, not falling into a coma during your sleep, shows its face again and should take the cake from forgetting about a test.

Round 2: Forgetting the due date will pull out a surprise, come-from-behind victory against the ever-looming presence of student loan debt, who will likely get a victory six months after graduation.

The 9 a.m. class will beat out an existential crisis between classes because of the clipped nature of having to walk into a 9 a.m. class and calm down after pondering what the purpose of existence is.

Round 3: The 9 a.m. class won’t struggle against not having enough money for chicken nuggets. People will realize they could get more money for nuggets if they pick up extra hours at work.

Semifinals: Expect a lot of controversy this round. Group project is going to come out on top against not falling into a coma, which would mark the third year in a row in which the latter has fallen against the strategic, collaborative effort of the former.

Finals: Group projects will come out on top. Having a group project in a 9 a.m. class will ultimately destroy one’s sleep schedule and sanity. Many will disagree, but the opinions of those who don’t get upset by them should be ignored because they aren’t human.

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By: Trever McKenzie | Therapist Regular