It might not be Halloween, but the last two months of our lives have definitely qualified as a spooky season.
In this time of darkness, Hulu is capitalizing on my constant desire to binge horror movies with its series “Into the Dark.” In this series, a themed horror movie is released every month, satisfying my persistant new-movie cravings.
However, like in any good series, some are amazing and some are terrible. In this guide, I’m here to tell you which frights are hot and which are decidedly not
“Culture Shock,” the series’ Fourth of July feature, is definitely a must-watch for any horror-loving liberal. The story, told in flashbacks and alternate realities, surrounds a pregnant undocumented Mexican immigrant who seeks refuge across the border.
The movie is colorful and dynamic with the kind of chills that slowly creep up on you, in the style of “It Follows.” It’s a thriller with mystery and minimal gore for those who prefer their horror movies a little cleaner. “Culture Shock” culminates in an explosion of freaky mishaps, and is one that will leave you with oddly political nightmares.
I’m Just F*cking With You
Centered on April Fools Day-style pranks, “I’m Just F*cking With You” tells the story of an internet troll seeking vengeance on an exes’ wedding. If you’re missing your slightly-mean college boyfriend and looking for something to have a love/hate relationship with, this movie is perfect for you to watch.
Every character is deeply unlikeable and yet you can’t seem to take your eyes off of them. “I’m Just F*cking With You” is obnoxiously terrifying, and its quick escalation into absurdity makes it one of the best scary movies you can indulge yourself with right now.
Who says Christmas only comes once a year? “Pookah!,” a horror spoof of disgusting holiday capitalism, tells the surreal story of a man and the “hottest new Christmas toy.”
While the plot sounds silly, the movie is probably the darkest and most cinematically beautiful of all of the “Into the Dark” films. Fans of “Black Mirror” and especially “Bandersnatch” will enjoy the balanced mixture of pure gore and artsy mystery.
New Year, New You
“New Year, New You” tells the worn-out story of a cultish online influencer mixed with the even more worn-out story of old high school friends with a dark secret. If you have seen “A Simple Favor” or “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” you’ve already seen this. If you haven’t, go watch those instead.
The failure of this film can’t be placed on the actors, but lies only with whoever thought they should mush those movies together with an easily foreseeable M. Night Shyamalanian twist.
They Come Knocking
“They Come Knocking” tells the story of a dad trying to do right by his daughters… but with ghosts. In a ghost movie, the ghosts are the central element of the story, right? Wrong.
This movie proved to me that the scariest element of a horror movie can be the angsty preteen vibes given off by an actress who is clearly in her twenties. This is “The Kissing Booth,” except instead of having a bad plot, it just has ghosts. There isn’t a plot for the ghosts to be related to, but it’s a decent watch if you like being annoyed!
All That We’ve Destroyed
I want to clarify first off that I really wanted to like “All That We’ve Destroyed.” I actively tried to enjoy it. The idea is incredibly original, the setting is beautiful and the cinematography is undeniably Ari Aster-level fun.
However, this movie is executed so poorly that it took me the entire film to fully understand the core concept. The plot is so overcomplicated that I can’t explain it without lying or spoiling it.
This is a Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. I would recommend it only to people who can come up with funny insults throughout.