Local Race Spotlight

BY S.TRIP PERR, Professional Poll Watcher

Though the winner of the presidential election has not yet been called, many local races came to fruition on Election Night. Votes in Hamilton County’s most contentious races have all been counted and announced. 

Some results, however, were overlooked by Xavier students due to perceived unimportance. Newswire has accordingly prepared a thorough analysis of these races’ impacts on the county, as well as both District 1 and 2. 

Charlie Gstalder v. Mo Juenger

The Gstalder/Juenger race was a contentious one, with various insults and libelous campaign strategies throughout. 

Juenger, current World News Editor of Newswire, raced Charlie Gstalder, Opinions and Editorials Editor, Tuesday night from the bottom floor of Gallagher to the top. The results were within minutes, leading Juenger to call for a recount — or in this case, a rerun, after she lost in a landslide. 

Gstalder, a former track and field and cross country star, sped up the stairwells in an unprecedented forty seconds. Juenger was nearly immediately disqualified after using the elevator to travel from the first to third floor. 

Joe Clark v. Joseph Cotton 

The ballots surrounding the highly anticipated race between Sports News Editor Joe Clark and Campus News Editor Joseph Cotton took longer to tabulate than other races within the county, though the results did arrive before the end of the night. 

Cotton, incumbent editor, raced the various spelling errors and grammatical mistakes within his page as quickly as possible, but lost in a landslide to first-draft perfectionist Clark. 

RETRACTION: It has been brought to Newswire’s attention that they “erased,” not “raced.” 

Copy editors v. Page editors 

As always, the race to finish copy editing was one to remember. With the copy editing deadline at just 9 p.m., the group of grammar experts beat the buzzer by finishing all articles at just 8:57 that evening. Page editors congratulated the copy editors on their win humbly, noting in their concession speech that they would probably still be stuck editing Newswire until at least mid