By Avery Strychasz, Staff Writer
Graeter’s: It’s the one place that has bonded Xavier students for decades. In memoriam of the Xavier location’s closure on Monday, we have compiled a comprehensive list of what your flavor choice says about you!
Madagascar Vanilla Bean
If you get this flavor, your favorite foods are probably mac and cheese and chicken tenders, and that’s okay. But let’s be honest, unless you are making a boujee root beer float, your $5 is better spent elsewhere.
Dutch Milk Chocolate
Anyone who gets this flavor is doing pretty well for themselves. Dutch Milk Chocolate signals stability and self-awareness with the occasional tendency to self-destruct.
Cookies n’ Cream
You are all about making life comfortable. Your favorite things include chicken noodle soup, Hallmark movies and reminiscing about the good ole’ high school days.
You are all for the aesthetic things in life. Whenever you go to Graeter’s, you always take a cute VSCO-type photo to post on Instagram later.
“The Original” Salted Caramel
You think you are better than most people on campus and are probably a business major. You also probably think “finger guns” are still a good way to greet people.
You like the metaphysical discussion in life. For example, why would someone take a very hot beverage and decide to freeze it?
This flavor means you are attempting to start “adulting.” But let’s be honest, the key word here is “attempting.”
Maple Cinnamon Crunch
There is a lot to unpack here: You are a diverse individual who is constantly over involving themselves. Driven by your passions, you can often fail to see the big picture in search of living that carpe diem lifestyle.
Bless your heart, you are the sweetest kind of person out there. You are also probably from the South because only a true Southerner or someone older than 75 has this flavor in their Top Three.
150th Birthday Cake
You like to live every day like it’s your birthday. Known as the life of the party, you thrive in environments where they play Pitbull 24/7.
If this is your go-to flavor, please, call your mom. Your laundry is ready for pick up.
People can find you confusing, and they may not always understand your decisions. For example, why would someone get sorbet from an ice cream parlor?
Maybe you are trying to watch your sugar after having a carnival cookie every day from the Caf. It’s not worth it; just go get the Black Raspberry Chip.
You typically prefer to play it safe, but every once in a while you go crazy, like “writing your notes in pink crazy.” Slow down there, wild child!
Mocha Chocolate Chip
Studies show that you only buy this flavor if you are a stressed-out nursing major after your 12-hour clinical. Keep going babe, we believe in you!
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip
This flavor goes out to all those exploratory majors out there. Is this flavor better as a candy or an ice cream? I don’t know. You decide.
Toffee Chocolate Chip
I have never met anyone who has gotten this flavor, so the jury is still out on this one.
Coconut Chocolate Chip
You like piña coladas, but you do NOT like getting caught in the rain.
Dark Chocolate Brownie
This flavor is a cry for help. You are going through it right now and just need a hug.
Mint Chocolate Chip
You don’t like change. This has probably been your go to flavor since you were a wee child. It is time to broaden your horizons.
Black Raspberry Chip
Like the pumpkin spice latte, nothing says “basic” more than a scoop of BRC. That being said, this is the superior Graeter’s flavor, so you own that basic b*tch personality. Though you might want to slow down on those PSLs. It’s not a great financial decision and you have student loans.
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