SATIRE

By Grace Campagna, Newswire Intern

You may remember the craze last year around the movie, “Wicked.” Now, we are once again amidst the buzz again with “Wicked: For Good” releasing on Nov. 21. Luckily, we do not have to go far to experience the magical world of Oz, when here at Xavier, we live in a clearly magical and just as dazzling version of Shiz University.

            Are you wishing for a yellow brick road to take you on a magical journey home for Thanksgiving break, which seems to be getting farther away as the days go on? Look no further than our own sparkling, concrete brick pathways. It surely will be a journey, with your usual path always under construction.

            We also have our version of the green elixir that turned Elphaba green in the magical land of Xavier. Why have a juice that’s actually green when you could have Muskie Lager? It may not make you green, but legend has it that a secret stash of the drink and a bad basketball game is what made the Blue Blob blue.

            There’s no place better to enjoy this elixir than our very own Ozdust Ballroom, Dana’s. Here, the student body will gather as our men’s basketball team ventures to the Emerald City that is New York for the Big East Tournament. It is looking as though a few more elixirs may be needed to make it through the games this season.

            Now picture this: you are Glinda floating down in your bubble to another day in paradise, attempting to find peace. Of course, you cannot have peace. You are bombarded by the sea of Munchkins on campus, either a tour at an ungodly hour of the morning as you wait for your coffee or a random group of children from the St. Peter Faber Academy.

            At this point in the semester, though, I am feeling a little more like the witch of the east, Nessa Rose. She was minding her business in her sparkly silver heels when she got hit by a house out of nowhere. One second, I am on my merry way thinking that all is well and the next I have been taken out by an academic stress I never saw coming.

            I am sure you have encountered as many scarecrows as I have during my short time at Xavier so far, those people who make you wonder how exactly they have made it this far. We may just have to keep on guessing.

            Now that you have the lens, make sure you fully appreciate Xavier as the wondrous Land of Oz. I expect to see many of you interlocking arms, skipping to your next class on our fine yellow brick and singing about your absolute joy to be on campus. At the very least, do not let finals hit you like a falling house.