Back PageFiguring Out What Zendaya’s Hat was Hiding
SATIRE By Marta Vallejo, Staff Writer For years, humanity has searched for the answers to some of life’s greatest mysteries. Who built the pyramids? Is Atlantis real? And most importantly, what…
Mitch McConnell Has a Dirty Little Secret
SATIRE By Patrick Rupinen, Staff Writer After a three-month absence from Congress, Senator Mitch McConnell has decided to return to his job representing the great Commonwealth of Kentucky. This led many people to wonder where McConnell has been for the past few months. While many believed that he…
Xavier Track and Swim Teams Adopt the HYROX-Pooper Strategy
SATIRE By Joe Reardon, Staff Writer After watching Australian HYROX athlete Joanna Wietrzyk win a race while suffering from severe diarrhea, Xavier’s track and swimming teams have decided they may…
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