Aries: You should get a bob. Everyone else is doing it.  Taurus: I think your romances are going to go well this week. At least, I hope so.  Gemini: You might be happier if you actually did things on time. Or, if you started drinking tea with honey in it.  Cancer: The dogs that come to class sometimes are cute, but please stop asking the dog if it remembers you. I highly doubt it.  Leo: You need to listen to less Lord Huron. I just think you should embrace the happy fall vibes, not the seasonal depression vibes.  Virgo: Stop … Continue reading Horoscopes 9/20

Aries: You need more linens in your closet. Embrace the coastal grandmother look.  Taurus: Pick a roster member and stick to it. Make up your mind before you ruin lives.  Gemini: Your piercing, icy blue eyes are not enough for you to get away with everything. Be a mature adult.  Cancer: Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough.  Leo: Go to the pier and buy some cotton candy. Maybe it will take your mind off of the impending doom.  Virgo: You are pretty, but you’re no Conrad. Humble yourself. She’s talking to six other guys.  Libra: Be a Laurel … Continue reading Horoscopes 9/13

The Summer I Was a Homewrecker By Chloe Salveson, Editor in Chief In my experience, I find that when your aunt figure passes away from a devastating illness after using said illness to contort the relation- ships of those around her with some semblance of affection and care, the best thing for a gal to do is to refrain from disobeying that dead aunt figure by kissing the brother of the guy she was supposed to look after. Just my opinion. As brothers, broody Conrad –who can take my soul any day–and pouty Jeremiah–who needs to tone down the “Greek … Continue reading The “We Have Conrad’s Back” Page