- Death Star
- Darth Vader
- George Lucas
- Kylo Ren
Aries: You are about to win the big bucks when your predictions of who Rey’s parents are turn out to be correct.
Taurus: It’s about to be a tough week. Nobody seems to appreciate the classic movie Spaceballs like you do.
Gemini: These are not the droids, nor the horoscope, you’re looking for.
Cancer: After Christmas dinner, you will basically be Jabba the Hut.
Leo: You will avoid spoilers with grace until 10 minutes before the movie. Turns out, Rey is actually Jabba the Hut’s daughter! #spoiler
Virgo: You won’t be Han “Solo” this Christmas under the mistletoe.
Libra: If you hear the words “death” and “star” in the same sentence, run away.
Scorpio: When you don’t know how to react to compliments, make Chewbacca noises because nobody will be uncomfortable then!
Sagittarius: If someone calls you a Grinch, simply tell them that you are an original Jedi rejecting emotion to avoid the Dark Side.
Capricorn: Have a great day, you will.
Aquarius: The only thing stronger than the Force will be your bond with your classmates during the freakishly difficult final.
Pisces: Make sure to check your family tree before meeting your holiday date. #lukeandleia
This post was assembled by Features Editor Monica Schweiger.