Aprils Fools

Browns employ genius tactics

Photo courtesy of pinterest.com | According to the latest buzz surrounding the fast-approaching NFL Draft, the Browns plan to use all of their draft picks to select a quarterback.


The Cleveland Browns have decided to take a radical new approach to the NFL Draft, as the team has announced it will select a quarterback with each of its draft picks.

“Let’s be honest, the organization is as fed up as the fans about not having a quality QB on the roster,” Browns General Manager John Dorsey said in a press conference. “So, instead of swinging and missing on one quarterback this year, we’re going to bring in 12 guys we feel could finally break the Cleveland quarterback misery.”

The Browns have an awful track record with QBs, with the franchise suffering through 27 players who have failed to last more than a couple seasons.

“The previous regimes felt comfortable gambling on guys like Johnny Manziel and DeShone Kizer, and who wouldn’t? Those guys were great picks, they just happened to not work out,” Dorsey said later.

Upon hearing the news of the Browns’ plan, UCLA QB Josh Rosen reportedly called his doctor, begging him to tell the Browns he could no longer play football.

Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield also did this. He is suddenly wearing a neck brace whenever he is being interviewed.

Cleveland will attempt to bring in every draft-eligible QB for workouts in addition to hosting open tryouts.

“We are leaving no stone unturned,” head coach Hue Jackson said. “I think this is a great move by the front office because we’ve not had a decent QB in a long time with the exception of Brock Osweiler, but he got cut before the season even started last year.”

The Browns are even bringing in famous actors who have played star quarterbacks, such as Adam Sandler, who starred in the remake of The Longest Yard; Zach Gilford, who led the Dillon Panthers to a state title as Matt Saracen in Friday Night Lights; and Jon Gries, who portrayed Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite.

There is no telling if this will work for Cleveland, but it should be a fun ride.


By: Matt Sarcen ~QB 1~

Categories: Aprils Fools, Sports