DISCLAIMER: This piece is satire, written for our April Fool’s Edition, and it is not based on true events.

I think that we are all equal under the eyes of God and the Constitution. I am not racist, and I will never be. Yes, I am a Conservative American and I love my country, with all its flaws. In fact, America is literally the best country on Earth. I believe in democracy and the Judeo-Christian  enlightenment values of personal responsibility, hard work and camaraderie. That is why I am a firm supporter of capitalism. While it has its flaws, it’s the best system we’ve got. It allows us to progress in our society and gives us the incentive to compete for the greater good. And If you can’t move up the social ladder, then that’s totally your fault. Perhaps you didn’t work hard enough or you spent all those thousands of dollars on nails and Gucci shoes instead of saving up money to beat the competition. Your poverty is a consequence of your dependent mindset that’s being promoted by liberals and such. This is why I have a bit of closeted contempt towards the “needy,” as some may call ‘em.

I literally can’t stand those stinky poors. They just ruin neighborhoods with their homeless filth. This is what happens when you let Democrat commies govern these sh*thole cities. They give too much welfare to these stupid nig— I mean, poor people. Speaking of poor people, it’s kind of weird how these garbage-filled hoods are filled with only minorities. It’s also weird how these animal THUGS commit so much crime. It must be because of their culture and other intrinsic traits, not because of any obvious deplorable socioeconomic factors that are rooted in history as propagations of White supremacy. Nope. Never. Historical materialism? Sounds like Democrat BS. By the way, if you haven’t noticed, big words tend to startle me. 

But you know what else is a big word? Post-modernist cultural neo-Marxism. Basically, it is the agenda of the left to destroy the proud civilizations of the Western world. It is mainly promoted by (((them))) to subdue the nuclear White family. They are just blasting terms like “social construct” and “gender fluid” and “systematic oppression” to delegitimize the European identity. They tell us that it’s wrong to be proud of our heritage. They expect us to apologize for our great history. They want us to bow down to every Black person we see. This is what communists and liberals plan to do to us. They plan to destroy everything we stand for. (((They))) also, want a White genocide. 

The way they will enforce this genocide is very subtle at first. They begin to replace White characters on TV with Browns and Blacks and such. Then they demand space for themselves in universities. Then, they finally start to push for the invasion of the foreign masses to replace us. Look at what’s happening in Europe. All of those leeches from Africa come to steal from us and kill us. Then the Democrat Communists try to come to their defense. Their lower IQ comes to dilute ours. Soon we will all be outnumbered, and the West will be filled with savages who are dumber than the rocks they use to build their huts with. 

We must stand firm in our identity, fellow Aryans. Don’t let (((THEM))) destroy you. Embrace tradition, reject modernity. We must secure the existence of our people, and the future of White children. Those democrats will have your heads if you even think of saying something like, “I don’t think Spiderman should be Black.” They will literally, and I mean literally, knock down your door and kill you if you say Chris Pratt is good, if you eat Chick-Fil-A or even if you say that White chocolate is better than Dark chocolate. They do not care for you. Protect yourself and your White family. They will show no mercy. But I’m not racist, LOL — it’s just dark humor. Take a joke, Libtard!