Column: Practicing sexual aftercare

SeX and Relationships, A BRAVE Column

By Caroline Dziubek, A BRAVE Peer Educator


What do you think when you hear “aftercare?” You may have heard the term used to describe services offered to patients who have been released from the hospital, services that are designed to support the patient as they recover. This, however, is not the only type of aftercare. It is also the practice of checking in with one’s partner(s) after having sex, making sure you both feel cared for by the other. 

Sexual aftercare as a concept comes from the BDSM community, as BDSM sex oftentimes involves practices – bondage, submission, etc. – that call for a post-sex checkup. But practicing sexual aftercare can be a healthy addition to any relationship, even one-night stands. Aftercare can include tending to your physical needs, debriefing about what just happened (which can be very helpful for folks who feel shame about sex), cuddling and/or holding one another, eating a meal together or – and this is my personal favorite – reading to one another. And that’s just to name a few.

Whatever your preference, the important thing is to remember to take care of your partner and yourself. To be sure, the attention will help to create a comfortable space and, in turn, deepen your relationship.

Missed last week’s column? Check it out here: