By Audrey Elwood, Staff Writer

I get it, single people, it’s hard around Valentine’s Day! I wouldn’t know, I love my snookie wookie pookie bear, and I am going to have the best Valentine’s Day of my life. The dating pool at Xavier is notoriously scarce; all of the good ones start dating early on in the year, leaving the weird, gross, unlovables for Valentine’s Day, like you! Relationships aren’t all they are cracked up to be, though.

This year, Valentine’s Day r is on a Wednesday. That means after a hard day of classes, I need to spend forever getting ready, working on top of work. Shaving my legs, everything shower, curling my hair, following a 30 minute makeup tutorial and for the men, putting on some deodorant and maybe brushing your teeth. I am so tired from my classes, and the candlelit dinner makes the room so dark, that I might fall asleep after my first bite of steak. Talk about a snoozefest, I won’t even be awake enough to put on our matching jammies.

I love my boyfriend, but sometimes he can be such a nuisance. When we are studying, I’ll just start staring at him and his baby blues and not get anything done. It’s so hard to keep secrets from him, because he’s my best friend and I just want to talk to him all the time. He is so tall (6”3) that he will steal my phone and hold it above my head, because I am so small and tiny and not like the other girls. It’s great to have a boyfriend who is so likable and easy going, until you realize your friends like him more than they like you. My back hurts all the time from carrying the weight of having the best boyfriend on campus.

Single people, if you are down and sad about being single, do not fret– I have some solutions for you. First, you can always watch the new season of The Bachelor, he’s great and awesome, and I am sure that one day if you try hard enough, you can find someone who is half as good as Joey Graziadei. You always have Ben and Jerry’s, and you guys have been the longest relationship you have ever had. If you need something to do, have your resident couple friends set you up with someone. Sure you guys will have nothing in common and not go on a second date, but at least it will give you hope for the despair that is your dating life. Remember Valentine’s Day is just one day, and you have the rest of your life to be single, so you’ll be ok!