By Audrey Elwood, Campus News Editor

How do you follow up the album of the summer? With mediocre mass-produced pop beats, of course. 

Sabrina Carpenter’s new album “Man’s Best Friend” (MBF), came out Aug. 29, and reactions have been mixed. My feelings lie somewhere in between, “let a girl have her fun” and “this is setting us back 10 years.” 

Before the album was even released, there was controversy regarding her album cover. The image depicts a man holding her hair while she is on all fours in front of him. The title is “Man’s Best Friend,” a phrase colloquially used for dogs. Women historically have been compared to dogs in a misogynistic manner. 

Subservient was not a good look for someone who writes songs that are meant to be empowering. However, as any fourth grader will tell you, b***h is a female dog. This term has largely been reclaimed in feminist spaces, so let a girl be a b***h sometimes. 

When it comes to the actual music, not just the messaging, it is just… okay? It feels like the unique Carpenter-esque sound is gone. 

Songs like “Slim Pickins” and “Bed Chem” from her first album are replaced with forgettable tracks like “Never Getting Laid” and “Sugar Talking.” Part of the spunk and fun of her “Short n’ Sweet” album was that each track was distinct despite maintaining a common throughline. Most songs on MBF muddle together into a puddle of mediocrity.

I know this is a common critique of pop in general. In most standout pop albums in the last 10 years, each of the songs are distinct enough to make a distinct album. MBF falls into the background. 

If Carpenter is the queen of one thing, it is ear worms. Boy, call the exterminator! There is an infestation of them on this album. “Nobody’s Son” is one of my favorites on the album for this reason. It came out of the woodwork like a termite and now has eaten all of my brain space. 

She calls out the “boy moms” on this one, urging them to do us all a favor and raise decent people. The lines, “Could you raise him to love me, maybe? / He sure f****d me up (Ah-ah)/ And yes, I’m talking ’bout your baby,” feel like a Carpenter song on an album that has so much filler. This is the heart and soul of her brand, with a funky backing guitar and soft vocals going into a classic TikTok-able chorus.  

This album was made to be viral, like many albums of the current era. However, many songs from MBF lack substance. I do not blame Carpenter at all for catering her music this way, as that is how she went from a member of the Olivia-Joshua Bassett-Sabrina love triangle to pop princess. 

With “House Tour,” you can just tell it was made to be an innuendo-filled 70s inspired TikTok trend, which leaves it feeling unfinished. “My house is on pretty girl avenue,” feels like filler. So sorry to all the Barbie fans who have been editing every scene to that line. This song could have been so good if it had one more chorus, but instead it comes off as shallow. Think less Vanity Fair and more college house landlord special. 

I am not a Sabrina hater; however, I am a hater of the bare minimum, and sadly that is what this album is. It feels more like a capitalization of fame, not a statement of artistry. This felt like NSFW JCPenney pop, not a fully fleshed out number one hit album.