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SATIRE
By Hannah Wolke, Digital Communications Manager
This fall, I set out to document a phenomenon that has quietly taken over our campus and beyond: the rise of the performative male.
You know the type; they all listen to Clairo. They are everywhere. By the GSC, in the library, even strutting up to the Hub with a matcha and Labubu like it’s a trophy.
I spoke with four self-proclaimed performative males. Each had a very particular way of describing their role.
“I firmly believe that women make this world turn. There’s a certain emotional intelligence that society forces upon women that we as men will never understand, and that keeps the world grounded,” Leo Holcomb sophomore biomedical science major said as he adjusted the straw in his ice-cold matcha to match his heart.
Holcomb takes reading feminist literature VERY seriously and he loves it when women have autonomy.
Another leaned on irony as his currency. “I remember the time – I remember when I found out,” Benny Mitchell a senior theatre major student with a taste for dramatic pauses said.
The third one is probably the most committed to the bit, mostly in regard to the struggles of outfit choices for his favorite people on this planet.
“I just reach into my closet, and I feel what is calling to me that day in the sweater vest category: I do it for the girls, not for me,” Charlie Perkins sophomore Digital, Innovation, Film, and Television major said as he turned his Laufey song off with a long emotional sigh.
The fourth was our most unusual find. After some persuasion (and, admittedly, a barter), I sold one of my performative interview slots to the Xavier rival, the University of Cincinnati Bearcat Mascot. Yes, even mascots can be performative males.
“Listen, I’m not just a guy in a suit — I am the suit. My roar is method acting,” the Bearcat growled, before flexing his foam claws for emphasis.
Whether on campus or off, the performative male thrives in visibility. As one of them told me with complete sincerity:
“If no one claps, I’ll clap for the women,” Holcomb said.
It seemed during my interview with these performative males, they were at the same Clairo concert. Unfortunately, Mitchell did not get to see Laufey when Perkins did, but Mitchell went to a reading of the “Vagina Monologues,” by Eve Ensler.
Labubus are a staple in the performative males community. They are known for good luck and fighting off the evil menstruation gods.
I was told to interview myself for this article by these performative men. The only thing I will say is that I feel like I contributed to helping one of these performative males become who they are today. This is because I have officially sold two Labubus on campus. One to my dear friend and one to Holcomb.
Moving majestically along, I talked about our Xavier University president Colleen M. Hanycz, Ph.D.
“WOOOO. I love the 35th president of Xavier. She is the moment,” Mitchell said.
“I already knew that but just hearing it makes me proud because she is our first female president,” Perkins said.
In conclusion, all these men of performance are really showing themselves what it means to be a performative male and you know what, even the Bearcat. He may be a furry, but the performative males won’t accept that unless he is devoted to women as much as they are.
