Local News
- Local
- September 22, 2026
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Mitch No Longer Missing: McConnell Returns to Congress After 3-Month Absence
By Rieley McDonnell, Staff Writer Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) returned to the Senate last Monday after a three-month absence amidst rumors about his health status. With McConnell’s return, the Agriculture…
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Mitch McConnell’s Has a Dirty Little Secret
SATIRE By Patrick Rupinen, Staff Writer After a three-month absence from Congress, Senator Mitch McConnell has decided to return to his job representing the great Commonwealth of Kentucky. This led many people to wonder where McConnell has been for the past few months. While many believed that he…
Government Gets Going on Generously Generating Great Groups (GGGoGGG)
By Luca Filigenzi, Local News Editor With the announcement of Trump’s new Department Of Government Efficiency (DOGE for short), the floodgates have opened. The upcoming administration has continued its efforts…
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