Everybody hates Godzilla Life lessons from the streets to the litter box

By: Godzilla ~Senior String Major~

On an average day, I’ll wake up, look at birds outside to plot their demise, take a nap, swat at someone’s shoelace as they walk by, take another nap and stare at my toys stuck just out of reach under the couch. All introverted activities that establish my solemn nature and desire to live a quiet life. Or so I thought.

1It’s not an easy life for a cat, and humans haven’t made it any better especially college humans. I can’t count on one paw the number of times I just finished cleaning this one spot on my back I was working on for weeks when one of the humans picked me up. Without asking.

Then when I bite them in the shoulder it’s somehow my fault. As if I pick them up after they clean themselves? Sure I try to follow them into the water machine, but they always close the doors anyway.

Don’t even get me started on doors. They close them on me all the time and forget I don’t have human paws like they do. Even when I scratch at the outside when they leave and yell, “I don’t have human paws, guys!” they never listen.

Sometimes they even put doors on tables and throw toys around at cups and act like it’s weird when I jump on it to investigate. Doors don’t go on tables, guys. I may be overstepping my bounds here, but I think college humans are discriminatory against cats like me.

I’m a street cat. I’ll be the first to meow it. Caught my first mouse at three months. Got into nip for a week. I was in a hardcore litter. Swat me. But just because I come from the street and don’t have human paws doesn’t mean they can prance around and not throw my toys for me or neglect to give me treats when I ask. There are mornings I yell at them for hours to refill my food and they just walk to the outside as if their lives are more important than my diet. They have nine of them so I don’t see what’s so important every morning.

Sometimes I just wish they would trust me to leave for long times like they do. Any time I try to go to the outside I run around and they chase me everywhere, but when they leave I’m not allowed to chase them everywhere. Most of the time I wait for one of the new humans from the outside and sneak past them. They’re weak.

Godzilla is a senior string major from Norwood, Ohio.

Another thing that they always disregard is my refined taste in film. Any time the TV is on they watch some stupid cartoon show. Throw a guy a mouse and let’s watch “Homeward Bound” for once.

Not to mention we should be watching “Aristocats” at least once a week. Classic. The only thing I’ve even been into is “Inside Llywen Davis” and that cat was hardly even in it. All I ask is for a little more diversity.

Most of the time when I’m meowing with my friends we meow about the simple things: How many swats it takes to take down that fly we’ve been chasing for hours, whose scented cat litter smells better.

Regular stuff. But sometimes we get real – if a cat is being discriminated against on the computer TV for beautiful piano skills, or for having too big of eyes, it’s not right. When college humans start to realize how inconsiderate they are toward the cat community and start throwing our toys for us a little more often, that’s when the real change will begin to show.