Campus News

Feeling sad & dead on the inside, ghosts reveal all

Xavier ghosts have turned introspective with students absent from campus

Depicted above is one of the may empty Commons Apartments. With students
returning home to escape COVID-19, campus has become a literal ghost town.

Social Distancing has forced people around the globe into a new normal. For the ghosts on Xavier’s campus, this has meant adjusting to the empty campus and filling the time with something other than spooking first-years. 

AJ, a ghost bound to a chair in the Commons Apartments misses the social time he used to have with residents of the room. “I really enjoyed messing with the SAC kids that used to hang out in the room,” AJ said over a telepathic connection. “They seemed like a fun group, but they were freaked out by the sound of little children laughing.” He stated how he was disappointed that his plans to flicker the bathroom lights and run the tap water had to be put on hold. 

Agustin, who was a Spanish administrator in the 17th century, didn’t seem worried about the emerging Covid-19 virus. “I was around during the Bubonic Plague. This pandemic ain’t nothin,” Agustin said. “These things used to pile bodies, now they pile Instagram challenges.” Agustin went on to say that he was still trying to figure out what was happening tomorrow. When asked to elaborate he said that he kept seeing rough Instagram photos on his timeline with the caption “Until… tomorrow.” “This picture of a six-year-old Saint Ignatius of Loyola getting ice cream really caught me off guard,” Agustin added. 

The Ghost of Sister Kelly Tonne who hangs out near the Edgecliff practice rooms explained how she missed listening to the beautiful sounds of students practicing their instruments. “Somebody was working through Vivaldi’s Spring. I hope they stick with it,” Sister Catherine said. “I don’t miss that Cotton kid though. His tone was pretty bad. Like, 7th grader bad.” She did go on to say that the extra week of spring break gave her enough time to finish grading her papers and free herself from the curse that bound her to the building. She stated that she walked down to Graeter’s because she missed it so much from her time on Earth just to find that it was closed. “Yeah, I just went back to Edgecliff. Sister Catherine kinda drives me through a wall, but I missed her after a bit.”

After her disappointing walk to Graeter’s at University Station, Sister Kelly Tonne
returns to Edgecliff Hall only to be disappointed at the lack of musical sounds.

The wise old man ghost and the scary little girl ghost have been the hardest hit out of all the ghosts atXavier. The wise old man ghost, who revealed his name as Barnaby, is a non-traditional student pursuing his degree in audio engineering and has found the transition to online classes challenging. “I haven’t been embodied since Eisenhower was president. How am I supposed to figure out computers?” Barnaby said. “I’m just trying to make a better afterlife for me and my girl.” He went on to say that he spent 4 hours looking for a RadioShack but couldn’t find any. 

A petition started by AJ asks the administration to waive housing fees for the spring semester due to the coronavirus. The petition only has one signature on change.org due to the fact that only AJ knows how to use a computer after possessing the body of a poor soul who decided he wanted to play with a ouija board.   

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