Social Distancing Club skyrockets

Membership for Xavier’s newest club is larger than undergrad population

The Social Distancing Club promotes healthy distancing rules and supports students who are lacking human interaction. Above, some members are practicing safe social distancing techniques by staying six feet apart in the C-2 parking lot.

Though most clubs have disbanded for the year, one group of students continues to meet—albeit from a distance. Enter Social Distancing Club (SDC), Xavier’s newest and largest student organization. 

SDC is a student-run organization started by Xavier underclassmen that strives to put the social in social distancing. Xavier’s newest club has experienced infectious popularity in recent weeks. With over 6,000 members, SDC quickly snatched the title for largest student organization (not) on campus. 

“It’s crazy how popular we’ve become!” SDC Vice President Stan Bak said. “Almost everyone at Xavier has joined the fun. And with all the recent hype about distancing, we’re talking about starting chapters nationwide.” 

The club’s motto, “when showing up means staying home,” emphasizes the low time commitment required to join SDC, and members expressed how SDC easily allowed them to join the distancing trend. 

“When this all started, I had a severe case of FOMO about this whole social distancing thing. Everyone who was anyone was refusing to go out, and I was panicking to fit in with all my cool classmates. Social Distancing Club was the perfect way for me to join the crowd,” sophomore communications major Shel Turinplace said. 

While the new club’s popularity may ensure its place in the hearts of students, SDC has not lived without some symptoms of struggle. 

“We were so far apart at the last meeting that we honestly couldn’t get much done. And my voice might be shot from yelling across the way to my fellow distancers, but it’s still a fun time…right?” Turinplace added. 

SDC members also noted that a lack of visible leadership might have contributed to the unproductive meeting. According to some members, the club’s president has yet to appear in person. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure I’ve even seen the SDC president. I would definitely recognize her voice, though. She’s really good at at shouting from across the street,” Turinplace said. 

The club plans to host a semaphore workshop at their next meeting, where members can learn the language of flag positioning to communicate from a distance. Bak hopes that teaching members the language will be fun and useful; other students just hope it will reduce the high number of voices lost in the most recent meeting. 

“Semaphore is a very practical skill that looks great on a resumé,” Bak spelled out from the mandatory distance of six feet. “Employers are always looking for good communicators. Sure, it’s a pain to haul these giant flags around, and not everyone’s fluent, but at least I can always communicate safely!” 

In lieu of club T-shirts, SDC will sell megaphones and eight-foot hoop skirts to safely spread school spirit. SDC members also look forward to fun field trips to safe and social distance-friendly destinations, such as a giant empty field and the C-2 parking lot. 

Social Distancing Club meets all the time everywhere, as mandated by the country, and snacks will absolutely not be provided. To get involved, continue doing nothing and visiting no one.