BY STAN STILL & X. BENEDICT, Apple Eater & Pear Enjoyer
Students have resorted to simply not doing their school work. With the new grading options, literally who gives a sh*t anymore. can’t be me. Anyway, who tryna rip some Among Us. We got like three more spots left
Ever since last week’s announcement that students could choose 3 credit hours to be counted as satisfactory or unsatisfactory on their transcript this semester, teachers in the math and science departments have seen a lack of attendance and assignments completed.
Throughout campus, students have chosen to give up trying in one class for the rest of the semester. Since the option was made public that one class wouldn’t count towards their GPA, students feel that there is no reason to put the effort in anymore.
Professors have seen an especially dramatic decline in student engagement in Anatomy and Physiology classes, a required course for most students in a STEM or nursing major. Certain professors have even cited having zero students come to class.
Students in these classes recognize that they won’t receive credit for a class if they fail, and are therefore turning in assignments with minimal effort.
Some students are unsure of which class they should pick especially since they only have the option to pick one. For sophomore Eric Partyson, school has become the least of his concerns.
“A few of my teachers have emailed us asking if more people could start showing up to class. Personally I like to sleep in and doubt that I need to try harder than I am already. I’m still not sure which of my classes I’ll have count as my S/U grade. Since I’m already failing both my statistics and chemistry class, it’ll be hard to decide,” said Partyson, a business undecided major.
Other students have not seen much of a change in their behavior due to the new class options.
“I don’t do any work anyway so I’ve been just chillin bro,” said political science major Par T. San. “Did you hear about the new call of duty warzone update? It’s actually pretty fun.”
Student Government Association Senators recently sent a letter to the Board of Undergraduate Studies requesting that students be allowed to choose more classes to be counted as simply S/U and not be factored into their GPA.
Should the Senators’ request be approved it is likely that the rate of academic involvement will sink to Economics Association levels of involvement.
Professors in the college of arts and sciences seem to be generally ‘over this shit’ as well.
“At the end of the day, life is meaningless and all of the ways that we act are mediated by trans-unilateral power relations that are the product of hauntological memories,” said professor of running in intellectual circles Fren Chaman. “It is the systematized genealogical nature of truth creation that compels us to thought.
Chaman went on to talk about how she should have received the nobel peace prize for her research in trans-unilateral power relations. Did you know she studied that?
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