New Holiday Alert: Marty Gras

by Marty Dubecky, Staff Writer This Tuesday marked the 2025th annual Fat Tuesday (aka Mardi Gras). Much more importantly, though, it was the 22nd annual Marty Gras, the superior holiday.…

Trump Executive Orders that the Liberal Media Hates

by Marty Dubecky, Staff Writer The following executive orders are satirical. This is not meant to be accurate; it is meant to make fun. Unless you do not believe in…

Musketeer Energy Warms Up Cold Lineup

By Marty Dubecky and Peter Melahn, Staff Writers Xavier students gathered outside Cintas Center this past Saturday to await the showdown between the Xavier Musketeers and UConn Huskies in an…