‘An Ode to the Caf’

By Tess Brewer

O Caf, my Caf

All the time I have devoted to thee

Spending hours contemplating life waiting for the deli

Wasting years dreading the inevitable decline of mankind in the pasta line

What if, just if, I could be first to dine?

But alas, I cannot

As it is exactly twelve o’clock

And every student here

Anticipates the cheer of the cashier

Refusing to look up from their phone

The employees give a groan

As you and all friends ask for an eco box.

O Caf, my Caf

How bitter my life would be,

Not eating food that wasn’t so surprisingly spicy

How I’ll always answer the call,

For my dear, dear Hoff Dining Hall.

Related Posts

COVID-Conscious Lesbian Bar Receives a Revamp 

SATIRE By Maci Taylor, Back Page Editor   The infamous Western Massachusetts bar that drew massive internet attention amid a change in policy has started a “soft closing.”  The Last-Ditch Bar…

The Mystery of Xavier’s Missing Student  

SATIRE By Marta Vallejo, Staff Writer   I was looking through random books in the library when one caught my eye. It was dirty, old and wrinkled. I barely managed to…