The Back Page: 9/24

Anti-Consumerism in “The Duck Song”

“The Duck Song.” The song about ducks. I don’t know. Anyway, this song first appeared on the internet about eleven years ago. When I first heard this (so-called) song, I couldn’t understand why it had gone viral. It was clearly just a children’s song with some MS Paint music video slapped over it. Looking back, it’s really just a relic of the low effort animation era of YouTube. 

However, the YouTube algorithm recently decided to play a practical joke on me and recommend  this so-called music video, so I clicked on it for old times’ sake.

At this point, you’re probably thinking I’ve gone mad and I’m about to confirm that theory for you. I am completely mad. While rewatching “The Duck Song,” I noticed some very strong anti-consumerist undertones in it.

The premise of the song itself is quite simple: a duck pesters a lemonade stand for grapes, a product which they clearly don’t carry. After three attempts, the duck asks the stand manager for glue, which he also does not carry. The manager takes him to a grocery store to buy him grapes. The duck is disappointed and asks for lemonade, thus ending the song.

This seems incredibly simplistic. However, it is clear that the duck is a victim of consumerist society. His only goal is to acquire goods. He does not care about whether or not they benefit him or if he will gain any enjoyment from them. His desire for grapes is manufactured by large grocery stores convincing him he needs to own grapes in order to be fulfilled. However, when he is let down by the grapes, he turns to the lemonade which has been advertised to him for three days straight. He is beyond repair.

We are like The Duck. We are constantly told that the only way to be happy is to make money so that we can purchase more items we don’t need. Do not allow yourself to be reduced to a being as damaged as The Duck.


Written by: Tess Brewer, staff writer

Fowlty (FALL-tee): Mistakenly identifying other waterfowl as ducks. 

“The most fowlty thing one can do is mistake a goose for a duck — some have not survived the experience.” 

Duckold (duh-COLD): When your wife leaves you for a more alpha duck.

Ducky Dame: Duck equivalent of a horse girl.

Submitted by Ben Thomson of Cincinnati:

Swack (s/w/-AHCK): When the Duck Mafia needs to ‘take care of somebody.’ 

“He’s gotta be swacked so that he ain’t swimin’ with da fishes — he’s sleepin’ with ‘em.” 

Wanna submit your own wacky words? Send ‘em to


Aries: Don’t give credit where credit is due. Some girl gave me the idea for a duck themed page and I’m not even gonna shout her out. 

Taurus: Jealousy is not a good look on you. Sure, the University of Oregon has a duck mascot, but at least we’ve got the Blue Blob. He’s… kind of cool.

Gemini: Go out and get that bread this week. Just stand around at the park and some old lady will probably throw some crumbs at you. 

Cancer: You always mock mother ducks who leave their ducklings in dangerous places, but your mom left you at a university during a pandemic so…

Leo: You’re the Daffy Duck of your friend group, and no, that’s not a good thing. Try to be more of a Porky. 

Virgo: Mercury found an adorable video you’d love of a duck opening a wine bottle. Just Google “duck corkscrew” and you’ll find it. 

Libra: Don’t forget to pay your bills. This isn’t even a duck pun, you’ve already defaulted. 

Scorpio: In a time of such political turmoil there is no excuse not to be informed and take action. Three billion ducks are killed every year; what are you gonna do about it?

Sagittarius: Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. There are types of ducks called grebes and coots. Now that’s some Harry Potter-sounding shit right there. 

Capricorn: Did you know duck feet can’t get cold? Try to channel that energy before you flake on another date. Coward. 

Aquarius: Insert your own Ducktales themed horoscope here. The stars don’t have any because they were more into Goof Troop

Pisces: Try something new this week. Sign up for intramural Duck-Duck-Goose.