1. In high school, I:
   1. Was involved in theater 
   2. Mostly played sports 
   3. Didn’t do much, just hung with the popular crowd
2. My ideal Friday night consists of: 
   1. Movie night and cookies with friends
   2. Staying out until 2 a.m. 
   3. Dancing the night away with the girls 
3. My beverage of choice is:
   1. Iced tea 
   2. Mountain dew 
   3. Celsius 
4. I would describe myself as an: 
   1. Introvert 
   2. Mostly extroverted, but I need down time 
   3. Extrovert
5. What’s your go-to class fit? 
   1. Sweater, jeans and cute boots 
   2. Sweats and a hoodie 
   3. Tennis skirt and crew neck 
6. my fav shoes: 
   1. Doc Martens 
   2. Hey Dudes 
   3. AF1’s 
7. What’s your kiss count? 
   1. 2
   2. I am unsure 
   3. 10

If you answered mostly A’s: 

Girl, you’re August. Me, too. You’re chill. You’re everyone’s best friend. I just know you have superior music taste. One of these days, we’ll be someone’s first choice right?

If you answered mostly B’s: 

Unfortunately, you’re James. You suck. You are the villain of this story. Don’t lead girls on. Tell them what you want if you have been hanging out for more than seven days. PLEASE. 

If you answered mostly C’s. 

I aspire to be you. I pretend to be you. You’re Betty.You have it together, you’re bubbly, you’re beautiful. Despite all that, a man still found a way to screw you over. 

SAD GIRL SUMMER

---

Horoscopes

Summertime sadness song recs 

Aries: “Orange Show Speedway” by Lizzy McAlpine slaps for when you miss that one random fling that was probably a male manipulator. 

Taurus: Listen to “Mirrorball” by Taylor Swift in the car on a warm August day. Really feel the part when she says “All I do is try try try.” 

Gemini: “Graceland Too” by Phoebe Bridgers is good for your leaving home, coming of age moment. 

Cancer: “Deja Vu” by Olivia Rodgrio never fails. Scream it while you think about how your ex’s new girl is not as hot as you are. 

Leo: You, my friend, ARE “Summertime Sadness” by Lana del Rey.

Virgo: Breaking up with your highschool bf/gf was hard, but it was the right decision. Listen to “I Lied” by Lord Huron.

Libra: You are a softie, and that’s ok. Stream “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, and continue to pretend they love you back. 

Scorpio: Go out with your friends and listen to “Need You Now” by Lady A when the night gets a little long. 

Sagittarius: Listen to “August” by Flipturn. If you like “Someone New” by Hozier, I promise you’ll like this song. 

Capricorn: “Wishful Thinking” by Benee goes hard for when your most recent situationship didn’t work, but you’re not actually that sad about it. 

Aquarius: Listen to “Satellite” by Harry Styles, and then remember that you’re worth more than spinning out waiting for someone. 

Pisces: You were better than them, anyway. Listen to “I Can Break Your Heart Too” by the Aces. 

---

Taylor

By Ethan Nichols, World News Editor

As August comes to an end, it seems like the perfect time to take a deep dive into a little Taylor Swift lyrical lore. The masterpiece of an album, Folklore, was immensely successful. Released during quarantine in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, the song “August” stands out. The theme of summer romance inspires and is interwoven throughout the song. The voice in the song reminisces over memories of a youthful summer spent in love. The main theme revolves around a love triangle of sorts. The voice of the song, August, falls in love with James. As she falls into a youthful love, she eventually comes to realize that James was already involved with Betty. As you listen to the song, you can begin to pick up on August realizing that there is someone else in the picture when Taylor sings, “‘Cause you weren’t mine to lose.” August is a love song. It’s a song about youth, and it’s a song about summer, but when we get into the weeds of the lyrics, we begin to realize there’s more to it. As summer slips away, she begins to wonder if he’ll remember her, if he’ll call her. She then reminisces about how he was never truly hers. In reality, there was another girl. August was the other girl. The song goes on to describe how they aren’t truly a couple, as the relationship must remain hidden. This is due to James also being with Betty. She organizes herself around him. She prepares her summer schedules around seeing him. She becomes truly smitten with James. By the end, August realizes that, as summer slips away and the school year begins, that he was never truly hers. That summer was over.