Please enjoy reading the following fun and educational facts – presented to you by Newswire’s Opinion & Editorials Page

Disclaimer: The following article is satire, as it was apart of an April Fool’s edition.

• A hippo’s jaw is wide enough to swallow a four-foot-tall child in one gulp.
• A Big Gulp tastes good.
• Insulin’s cheaper now.
• Gas station Narcan is gonna be a thing. 
• If you keep a lighter on for more than 30 seconds, it explodes.
• Donald Trump is the first former U.S. president to be arrested.
• Traffic was bad in New York City today. 
• City Council has voted to give insurance protection to Cincinnati’s potholes. Petitions to give the potholes voting rights are pending.
• The 100 folds in a chef’s hat represent the 100 ways to cook an egg.
• Eggs came first.
• Unicorns are the national animal of Scotland. 
• They went extinct due to overhunting.
• D’Artangan is barred from entry into the Philippines. 
• The Blue Blob’s species is listed as critically endangered by the WWE.
• No, it wasn’t an accident.
• We get paid minimum wage. 
• I used to soak ant hills with a hose as a kid. Does that make me a bad person?
• Ants can smell your blood. I’m scared they can smell mine. Who’s that behind you?
• I can’t pronounce how to say the fear o the number 13.
• I voted for Her. Who did you vote for? 
• You don’t have to answer that.
• A group of bunnies is called a fluffle. 
• The bunny that played the Killer Rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail was a founding member of SAG-AFTRA.
• Technically, this is your editor’s two-week notice.
• You are not immune to propaganda.
• You are immune to smallpox.
• They’re not in your walls.
• Yet…
• Airlines claim you lose your taste on airplanes, but I happen to always like warm ginger ale.
• I think someone just came in behindafdh lkjsfd a 
• Viva la ant.