By @MrsBlueBoyz40, Local Stan
Disclaimer: The following article is satire, as it was apart of an April Fool’s edition.
After serving mandatory Jesuit-training service for two years, the hit K-Pop-inspired group Blue Boyz, under Hanycz Entertainment, has entered their 2023 comeback season!
The Blue Boyz have worked nonstop for their stans (AKA “Muskies”). The bandmates consume only one protein shake a day and spend even their sleeping hours working on new dances and songs.
Based in Cincinnati, the four-person group Blue Boyz is best known for its ongoing rivalry with U-CEE and for beating out BTS for Artist of the Year at the 2022 MAMA Awards.
The group’s April 2023 comeback theme is “Finding God in All Things.” How very Jesu-sweet of them! Their song of the season will be “God’s Menu: Holier and Tastier” — a tribute to the campus dining hall.
They will be making their Xavier comeback opening for Daya this fall.
Position: Leader, Dancer
His charming point is his robes.
His special ability is parking in his reserved parking spot at the Commons Apartments.
Position: Producer, Rapper
His charming point is being silly and goofy.
His special ability is making every audience member bring out their true saint.
Position: Visual (heartthrob!), Vocalist
His charming point is his roundness.
His special ability is his constant mouth breathing.
Position: Maknae (youngest), Fashion Icon
His charming point is his smile.
His special ability is growing a nice beard.
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