8/30 Horoscopes

Aries: You are a false fall. You are the cool breeze in the morning giving us empty hope. 

Taurus: You are sunburn. Please wear sunscreen so you don’t get cancer or wrinkles. 

Gemini: You are dehydration. Always drink lots of water when it is this hot outside! 

Cancer: You are the random fit of extreme hunger. Listen to your body- it needs carbs after all the water weight you just lost in sweat. 

Leo: You are the throbbing headache I just can’t shake due to the extremities. 

Virgo: You are humidity that is so fierce, my entire body is disgustingly soaked after just one moment outside. 

Libra: You are my poor backpack. She has been through it. She has definitely smelled better. 

Scorpio: You are the lack of motivation due to my extreme fatigue. 

Sagittarius: You are the Hailstones room that remains 55 degrees, even though it is 95 outside. 

Capricorn: You are the random fit of nausea from the extreme heat. Just lay down in the dark. 

Aquarius: You are the Justice Stank that is unmistakable and amplified in the heat. Avoid the crosswalk at the four way stop next to Currito. 

Pisces: You are the sweaty musty sock smell that has been lingering around campus.