Horoscopes 9/6

Which Margaritaville cocktail are you? 

Aries: You’re the Changes in Latitudes Margarita. You taste different in every sip. 

Taurus: You are the Feeling Peachy Margarita. You’re a cutie who likes pink. 

Gemini: You are the Uptown Topshelf Margarita. Don’t let anyone treat you like a downtown bottomshelf margarita. 

Cancer: You are the Blueberry Pomegranate Margarita. You’re basic, but well-loved by everyone. 

Leo: You are the Devil I Know drink. Don’t fight it, you know why. 

Virgo: You are the Smokin’ Rita. You had a massive glow-up this summer, and you need to make it everyone else’s problem. 

Libra: You are the Watermelon Margarita. You are light, easy-breezy and pink. Everyone loves you because you’re very easy to get along with. 

Scorpio: You are the Last Mango in Paris Margarita. You need to get out more, make some memories and leave your bed. 

Sagittarius: You are the Who’s to Blame Margarita. Stop blaming other people for simple mistakes. Listen to Jimmy, “It’s nobody’s fault.” 

Capricorn: You are the Perfect Margarita. Never change for anyone, you’re perfect just how you are. 

Aquarius: You are the Where’s the Party Margarita. You know how to get down and have a good time. 

Pisces: You are the Long Weekend Margarita. I hope you had a great Labor Day and you survive this four-day week. 

  • dubeckym's avatar

    dubeckym

    Related Posts

    COVID-Conscious Lesbian Bar Receives a Revamp 

    SATIRE By Maci Taylor, Back Page Editor   The infamous Western Massachusetts bar that drew massive internet attention amid a change in policy has started a “soft closing.”  The Last-Ditch Bar…

    The Mystery of Xavier’s Missing Student  

    SATIRE By Marta Vallejo, Staff Writer   I was looking through random books in the library when one caught my eye. It was dirty, old and wrinkled. I barely managed to…