SATIRE

By Marta Vallejo, Staff Writer  

I was looking through random books in the library when one caught my eye. It was dirty, old and wrinkled. I barely managed to convince the student helper to let me check it out, earning a death stare in the process.  

Inside, I found a collection of ramblings and a photograph of a girl I didn’t recognize. I searched for her name, only to find no record of her. Confused, I turned back to the book, hoping to find some answers. What I found instead was an entirely different story.  

***  

It’s been 11:47 p.m. for hours.  

I’ve been stuck in the library. Every time I reach the end of the hallway, I find myself standing right back where I started.  

I tried calling my roommate, but the call wouldn’t go through. I went to the front entrance instead, only to find the doors locked.  

I don’t know what to do. I’m panicking badly and there’s no one around to help me.  

Wait—there’s someone outside. They’re opening the doors!  

It’s… the Blue Blob?  

He opens the door for me and gives me a hug. I’m confused, but I can’t say I’m not relieved to see a familiar face. The Blob leads me to a bench, where I explain my situation. He doesn’t say anything, but that’s okay. I’m not alone anymore.  

The campus looks eerily strange tonight. Every streetlight flickers on and off, the wind is especially harsh. I hold on to the Blob as he guides me through what seem like endless paths and buildings.  

It’s weird. I have no idea what the Blob is doing here at night, but it feels like we’re walking in circles. I tried asking him if he knew where he was going, but he just nodded at me and kept walking. The feeling of safety I had earlier was quickly turning into suspicion.  

We passed the library again. I knew something was wrong. I let go of the Blob, terrified, and demanded to know where he had been taking me this whole time. He had just been leading me astray, almost as if… that was exactly what he wanted.  

The Blob turned around. He stared at me with a blank expression. Well, as blank as a mascot costume could get. I tried backing away, but he continued moving toward me.  

Panicking, I ran. I don’t know if he followed me. I made it back to the library and ran to the farthest, darkest corner I could find. I started texting anyone I could until, finally, a call to my mother went through.  

“Who is this?”  

“Mom, it’s me! Your daughter! I need your help. My call to the police won’t go through. You have to call them for me!” I exclaimed.  

“Is this a prank? I don’t have a daughter.”  

My heart dropped. My own mother didn’t recognize me. She didn’t even know I existed. But how? I had spoken to her less than 12 hours ago.  

I checked my messages, but every conversation I’d ever had was being erased right in front of my eyes. I opened Instagram. My account was gone. In fact, all of my accounts had been deleted, as if they had never existed to begin with.  

My life had been completely erased.  

I think I understand now. The Blob doesn’t want me to leave. He wants me to stay here. I don’t know if I’m the first or if there have been others before me. If anyone ever finds this book, please don’t—  

***  

I had no idea what to make of the book. Part of me wanted to believe it was all fake, just a cruel prank set up by some weirdo. But another part of me couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that came from everything I’d just read.  

Examining the photograph more closely, I noticed the girl was standing in front of Gallagher Student Center. She also had a Blue Blob keychain hanging from her purse. She had to have been a Xavier student. But no matter where I looked, there was no evidence that she had ever existed.  

Feeling stumped, I went outside to get some fresh air. A group of students was touring the campus, and everything seemed perfectly normal. That was, until I spotted the Blue Blob. He was waving, but not at anyone in particular.  

The students laughed and kept going. Suddenly, the Blob stopped waving and turned to look directly at me.  

For a moment, neither of us moved. Then, slowly, the Blob raised one hand and waved.  

This time, I knew exactly who he was waving at.