Back PageHello Muskie Explains Himself
SATIRE By Michael Torley, Staff Writer Hello Xavier, I am Hello Muskie. For a while, you likely have heard of me. I am the AI creation of my parents, the lovely Board of…
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- April 21, 2026
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Buc-ee’s Opens Its First Ohio Location, But Does It Live Up to the Beaver Legacy?
By Michael Torley, Staff Writer Ohio has a new resident, and unlike most, he is a beaver. Buc-ee’s recently celebrated the opening of its first location in Huber Heights, about…
The Money Mystery Has Led To Many Speculations
SATIRE By Michael Torley, Staff Writer I have just got to tell you about some drama lately in the Xavier Newswire villa. Specifically, we writers have not been paid at all this semester due to an issue…
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