Features: “How to Destress Before Finals” & Extras – 4/18/2018

Comic by Peña

With the semester winding down and crunch time officially beginning, finding moments to relax can feel like trying to find a wooden, burnt needle in a haystack that keeps catching on fire and warning you to back off. Trust me, we all feel it. But never fear, for the end of the semester also brings with it plenty of opportunities for celebration, including goofy holidays galore. Here are some ways to make sure the rest of the school week is dedicated to just as much play as work.

Today, April 18: International Day for Monuments and Sites

A holiday since 1983, today is devoted to celebrating all the monuments and sites that contribute to the world’s history and heritage. Embrace the chance to celebrate Xavier’s heritage by exploring all of the monuments on campus. Take a selfie next to the statue of St. Francis Xavier, weigh the amount of homework you have left on the scales by Brockman or thank Coffee Emporium for getting you through these next few weeks by avidly capturing shots of coffee-making in action. This year’s theme is Heritage for Generations, so do your part as a future leader of society and make sure Xavier’s monuments will be commemorated for years to come.

Thursday, April 19: Bicycle Day/National High Five Day

With Earth Day quickly approaching and Earth Week in full swing, do yourself and the planet a favor. Dust off them wheels and take your bike for a spin. Not only are you helping the environment, you’re also helping yourself. What could be more relaxing than a long bike ride through city streets whilst drivers galore stop, stare and honk because you dared to use the bike lane? But actually though, head out for a bike ride and enjoy the fresh spring air blowing in your face. Make your parents proud and show them you are a responsible adult by adding a flowery helmet for some springtime cheer.

If biking really isn’t your thing — or the spring air is reminding you that you’re allergic to exercise — then become the king of the hill and perfect your high five. Remember, it’s all in the elbows. Keep ‘em straight and make sure to slap the other person’s hand as hard as you possibly can. Perfecting the high five will take many hours of practice, concentration and maybe some good ‘ol blood, sweat and tears. But trust me, it will all be worth it, as you will instantly become the koolest kid around town.

If you really don’t feel like doing anything, then just embrace your inner puffin. It’s the first day of summer in Iceland.

Friday, April 20: Lima Bean Respect Day

Forget that other green veggie everyone’s talking about today because lima beans are where it’s at. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I have many a fond memory of my mother serving up these tiny green things that kind of look like jelly beans, only to discover that they were not, in fact, jelly beans, and they really didn’t taste like much but apparently were super good for me. If you really want to prove your worth and cement your legendary status on this campus, dare to try the dreaded lima bean. Show some respect for this holiest of vegetables and consume some, no matter how long it takes to choke them down. You’ll instantly feel its power pulsing through you and will be able to take on any and all projects, fueled by the power of this little green nugget.

By: Ellen Siefke ~Managing Editor~


wordsearch 418

  • Earth
  • Talented
  • Yoga
  • Apocalypse
  • Lima Bean
  • Bicycle
  • Glow
  • Space Jam
  • Sunflower
  • Weather
  • Planet X
  • Microphone
  • S’more
  • Waterfalls
  • Environment


Aries: The world is ending from Planet X and the stars are nervous, so four horoscopes for you today, Glenn Coco. You will find luck, love, fame and fortune all on April 23. Too bad the world ends before then!

Taurus: It’s almost the end of the semester, and you’re doing so well with your money that you should just spend it all on something useless. Trust me.

Gemini: Want to be a master negotiator? Every time your teacher asks you to do your course evaluation, tell them you will only do it for free food. Congrats, the stars see a food baby in your near future!

Cancer: Before going to Glow Yoga, make sure not to eat any spicy food that could possibly make you gassy. A thank you in advance from the Xavier community.

Leo: Why bother chasing waterfalls when you can chase drain pipes?

Virgo: If you win at “What are the Odds” with your professor, you don’t have to take the final. It’s a Cincinnati law, trust me.

Libra: Your end-of-school-vibe while looking at grades is going to be Matthew McConaughey saying, “alright, alright, alright.”

Scorpio: Xavier’s got talent and Scorpio’s got attitude.

Sagittarius: Dating tip: Make a s’more for a special person and when you give it to them, say “There’s s’more where that came from.” Boom. You’re dating.

Capricorn: Happy Earth Day. Take care of the Earth because nothing else in this galaxy is habitable. All space movies lied.

Aquarius: The world needs you to stop doing your rain dance because this crazy weather is killing everyone’s groove.

Pisces: Be like a sunflower and face the sunshine this week. If you can find it, that is.

This post was assembled by Features Editor Monica Schweiger.