Features

Features: “A villanelle to summer’s passing,” “Pumpkin Emoji Review” & Extras – 9/26/2018

Comic courtesy of Dami Lee


A villanelle to summer’s passing

Breathing in the dying fragrances of summer made
My lungs understand the language of suffering, beauty, and despair
That writes our literatures: we yearn for autumn’s unspoiled shade.

The dull gold air of linden masquerades
Unbraids my lips in gasps, in the sweltering air
Of heatstroke gardens and scintillating memory parades

where I watch time-blossoms pass, the choruses of handmaids.
I am full of asphyxiating flowers, garlanding the fragrant stair,
While gnats buzz, smothered by the throngs of feverish, floral colonnades.

Yet I walk in dappled sunlight still, wreathed and softly laid
In the paths of linden-blossom, aware
That I am lost in summer’s iridescent shade,

dazzled by rosy cheeks, French plaits, and mint lemonade,
Twining literatures like arms, in the starry trellises of hair
And in the silences of sighs, unbetrothed yet un-betrayed.

But now, thank God, here’s the autumnal serenade,
I speak softly to hasten its coming — my voice an efflorescent prayer
With flowers of yesteryear tumbling from curls unmade,
Sighing, with limpid smile, the rush of autumn’s welcomed shade.


By: Sofia Ordoñez | Staff Writer


Pumpkin Emoji Review

1 - Apple.pngApple – 9/10
Great amount of detail and color, but the smile remains playful and fun. Looks like she’d invite you over for Thanksgiving and give you a hug you really need.

2 - Google.pngGoogle – 4/10
Very basic and normal. Lacks a strong personality compared to the Apple version.

3 - Microsoft.pngMicrosoft – 0/10
Who on God’s green Earth approved this?! Looks like it was put together with Microsoft Word’s shape feature. Tries to be unique with a brown stem but the look is not flattering, sis.

4 - SamsungSamsung – 2/10
Low resolution and uninspired design. Not even lit inside – who doesn’t put light in their jack-o-lanterns?!

5 - WhatsAppWhatsApp – 8/10
Smol but wholesome babbu.

6 - Twitter.pngTwitter – 3/10
Doesn’t even have ridges. Smile looks uncomfortable, like she just found Aunt Linda stealing from the candy dish but doesn’t want to make a scene in front of the whole family.

7 - Facebook.pngFacebook – 7/10
Good amount of detail but looks too happy and inviting. Spook factor is too low.

8 - EmojiOneEmojiOne – 9/10
Looks like an excited puppy, and I love puppies, so it’s Gucci.

9 - emojidex.pngEmojidex – 1/10
TOO SPOOKY. NEXT.

10 - Messenger.pngMessenger – 4/10
No ridges, ovular eyes, awkward smile. It just ain’t realistic.

11 - LGLG – 1/10
That mug is busted. Contour so strong that her nose looks like her eyes. Fix it.

12 - HTC.pngHTC – 12/10
Pure. Wholesome. Baby. Perfect in every way.

13 - Mozilla.pngMozilla – 7/10
Manages to pull off a stem and leaf without using brown. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Microsoft.

14 - SoftBankSoftBank – 5/10
Making your pumpkin gold won’t make me love it.


By: Trever McKenzie | Online Editor


Horoscopes

Aries: How in the stars did you finish your homework before the night it’s due? That’s what everyone’s wondering, and it’s a good feeling. Keep it up!

Taurus: It’s hard to accept sometimes that you just gotta be like Elsa and “let it go…” like that huge homework assignment you decided to start one hour before it’s due.

Gemini: You know that satisfaction of getting the last cookie in the cookie jar? That’s you this week, except with umbrellas from Gallagher.

Cancer: You’ve got the spirit of the Career Fair that was this past Monday, and it still hasn’t left you. Don’t let the envy of your success from others bog you down!

Leo: If you’re going to skip class, make sure you don’t strut around campus to the point where the professor you didn’t show up for sees you and things get really awkward.

Virgo: Want to put candles in your dorm or apartment to make it look romantic but there are rules against flames? Well, a standing home is more romantic than a burned-down one.

Libra: Be more unapologetic this week. Complain about the puddle you stepped in and your earbud cord that caught on the doorknob.

Scorpio: If competing with peers is what it takes to improve your habits, then get your game on. Study hard, play hard, and most of all procrastinate hard.

Sagittarius: Get rid of that last bit of pet fur that might still be clinging to your clothes from home. Even if the weather doesn’t want to look picturesque this week, you should.

Capricorn: If you like coffee, all you want to do this week is chug it. If you don’t like it, all you can probably do this week is suffer.

Aquarius: You know when you google a question on a homework assignment and you get not only the answer, but answers to the whole thing? That’s your mojo this week.

Pisces: This is the week to get your name out there, but be smart. Don’t, for example, put a flyer for your club on the insides of bathroom stalls.


This post was assembled by Features Editor Soondos Mulla-Ossman.