Kanye West, not short of controversy, has been appointed to serve in new role

By Jill Honah, Ohio Rev. Code § 2933.52 Enthusiast

Disclaimer: The following article is satire, as it was apart of an April Fool’s edition.

Xavier administration has welcomed Kanye West to serve as the inaugural Musician in Residence, a position in which he aims to engage with students interested in music, fashion and politics.

Kanye West has won 24 Grammys and been nominated for 75, created a fashion line called Yeezy and unsuccessfully ran for president twice.

University spokesperson Barnard Burner introduced the appointment by arguing that West has strong ties to Xavier.

“He’s actually from the Midwest — Chicago I think. I mean, I’m not from here but that seems pretty close to Cincinnati,” Burner said.

“Plus he’s a huge fan of old R&B and soul, and Xavier University is right next to King Records, where songs that West may have wanted to sample were first recorded,” Burner continued.  

“I’m the best. It’s obvious why they chose me. I’ma teach all those kids to be billionaires. Watch me,” West said in a statement released through the university.

A number of petitions calling for the university to rescind the West decision are circulating among the student body. 

The most popular petition contains more than 6,969 signatures and denounces West for his history of racist, misogynistic and staunchly anti-Semitic remarks, arguing that West runs counter to Jesuit values.

Other students have added that West’s statements violate Catholic social teaching. In particular, they say that his statements of “I am a God” on his Yeezus album violated church doctrine on idolatry and are therefore blasphemous.

Vice President of Divisive Dialogue, Talkmore Feeless, has embraced West’s controversial past, telling the Joe Rogan Podcast, “If the people that I bring to campus upset you, that makes me happy. I want you to struggle and seethe.” 

“I firmly believe college should be a place where you feel unsafe, threatened and afraid to be your true self,” Feeless continued.

Not all students view West’s appointment as negative. Senior Justin Atkins felt it was bringing the student body together.

“Sure, maybe it wasn’t their intention, but I’ve never seen the campus so united in opposition to something. It’s like every professor has spoken out against it. I mean, even pro-choice and pro-life students are coming together,” Atkins said.

Indeed, both the university’s pro-life group and Xavier’s underground network of pro-life students have released statements denouncing the West appointment. 

The former has decried the musician’s radical statements as harmful to the broader pro-life movement, while the latter has decried West’s statements on abortion as conspiracy theories.

While it remains to be seen how the saga will unfold, it does not appear that university administration will rescind their decision. When asked again about the university plans amid the outcry, an unnamed university administrator  said that West’s body of work should speak for itself.

 “Look, I haven’t been here that long, but it seems that some people are upset about Kanye. I definitely get the sense that he’s a divisive figure. I don’t know, apparently he said some stuff that people thought was racist or anti-Semitic. But, people disagree about stuff and I happen to love Graduation.”